Andi's Family Life

Making money from home

2009-11-18T13:27:00.000-08:00

So I have been on this quest to bring in extra money from home. I feel like I have found a few really cool ways to do it!

Survey Savvy

AdFlasher

They do not cost anything to sign up which is most important to me and I think they are incredibly easy!

Friday Fill-In

2009-10-16T09:17:00.000-07:00

1. So are we going crazy?
2. Lots of family time is what's up ahead.
3. I love to go out with my husband alone.
4. I need to get a brain of some sort.
5. I walk with a hunch, crunch, snaps, crackles & pops.
6. Love, health & happiness (are) is the true elixir of life!
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to working, tomorrow my plans include swim lessons and Amazing Jakes and Sunday, I want to go to Alex's bday party!

39 observations (not my list but many of mine are on here)

2009-10-04T15:53:00.000-07:00

1. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

2. Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is a great need for a sarcasm font.

5. I think everyone has a movie that they love so much; it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond
earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

6. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

7. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

8. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

9. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

10. Was learning cursive really necessary?

11. LOL has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

12. Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

13. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

14. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

15. While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

16. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

17. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

18. I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

19. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

20. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

21. Bad decisions make good stories.

22. Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from; this shouldn't be a problem....

23. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

25. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

26. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

27. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

28. While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China and USA . No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that when Chinese athletes don't win, they are executed.

29. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Darn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

30. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

31. I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

32. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

33. It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

34. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

35. Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.

36. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...

37. My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad, what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the heck do I respond to that?

38. I wonder if cops ever get hacked off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

39. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

Friday Fill In

2009-09-20T00:02:00.000-07:00

1. My car is the car of my dreams.
2. My favorite seasons (are) is coming up next.
3. Lately, things seem busier than ever and I can't figure out why.
4. The bathroom with the shower on sitting on the floor reading a book is one of my favorite 'hiding' places.
5. What happened to manners?
6. Being happy is not impossible!

I know, I am been so absent lately. I have been working every second I can. The holidays are coming and I want to try to make it a nice one, if I can.

Josh has been doing well in school though I am not overly thrilled with things right now. It is no ones fault. So I hope I am not sounding harsh. His teacher had open-heart surgery and has been out for quite some time. Bless her. I hope she is recovering well. I have been there (sort of). But I am not sure I am crazy about her replacement. Maybe the real problem I have is the she is irreplaceable. I mean, I am not even sure who Josh's teacher is right now. I am thankful Misty is still in the room so there is at least some normalcy to Josh's day but he keeps saying "Karen not there". He is bothered by her absence. I try to get him excited about school and he just does not want to go. Not that this had anything to do with it by my dear neighbor Z enrolled her son into The Odyssey Preparatory Academy and I checked it out. I am SO excited! Both my boys WILL be going there. I do not care what I have to do. As of now their preschool is not open but as soon as it is, I am enrolling Josh.

Both boys started swim lessons. Jake cries through most of his and Josh loves Miss Megan and he is doing well.

The Wallaby is back on track and we hope to be up and running before the year is out.

We went to Vegas about a month ago and had a blast. It was Mom, Uncle Jerry, Aunt Therese, Lisa, Randy, Me, Charlie, & the kids. We had so much fun and even got to see Bern & the boys.
We are going back in December.

Love to all!

From a dear friend

2009-09-17T09:24:00.001-07:00

One Flaw In Women
Women have strengths that amaze men.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy
and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.
They don't take "no" for an answer
when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally..
They cry when their children excel
and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about
a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they
think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss
can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what
makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their
family and friends.
Women have vital things to say
and everything to give.
HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,
IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.

Friday Fill-In

2009-08-07T16:30:00.000-07:00

1. Rain is my favorite summertime smell.
2. My favorite John Hughes movies is, all of them, he was my fave R.I.P.
3. My children (are) is something I love to touch.
4. The full moon is mysterious.
5. My children are whining right now.
6. When daylight fades & it becomes twilight, it is my favorite time of the day, especially on Fridays.

Josh started school this week. His teacher was so happy to see him and he was happy to see her. I love that she gives hugs. I absolutely HATE that some teachers and some schools think hugging is inappropriate. It means so much and there are some children who absolutely need hugs. It may be the only hug they get in a day. Chelsea used to love to hug her teachers and then I think it was like 2nd grade, there was a teacher who did not hug. So I had to explain to her that it was not that she didn't like her, it was just that she didn't hug. It was very difficult for Chelsea to understand and I think it probably hurt her feelings a bit.

So things around here have been a bit difficult. Josh isn't napping because of school and Jake just isn't napping. Evenings around here have been so nice. Ugh. 8pm cannot come fast enough this week.

OK I hear my children getting into something. So I need to investigate.
Ugh, I wanted to write more but you know my kids. 5 minutes and they can take down a town.

How Lucky Am I? (work in progress)

2009-07-30T15:35:00.000-07:00

How Lucky Am I?

I am BRCA 2 positive which I likely got from my Mother. The Mother who raised me, loved me unconditionally, is always proud of me, bites her tongue for my benefit, guides me, supports me, and showed me scars and no breasts can be beautiful. She showed me how to face Cancer, how to fight Cancer, how to live as a Cancer survivor.

How Lucky Am I?

My Mother is likely BRCA 2 positive from her Mother, my Granny. A woman who fought Cancer in a time where no one talked about it, her mastectomy scarred her to the bone, concaved her chest, radiation that burned her flesh, and no chance of reconstruction. She taught my Mother how to love, how to be kind, how to embrace scars, no breasts, burn marks, fear, pain, and death with dignity and love. Granny taught me how to love unconditionally as she loved me unconditionally and was the kindest person I ever met.

How Lucky Am I?

My Granny was likely BRCA 2 positive from her Mother, Grandma Fox. A beautiful, kind, and very gentle woman whom I inherited my body type from. She was a progressive thinker yet traditional and had a very heavy Russian accent. She made her way through this country with that accent and I feel lucky to be her descendant.

How Lucky Am I?

I have a sister that is BRCA 2 positive. She has been here with me through my surgeries and chemotherapy. She has seen me lose both breasts and go through a hysterectomy. She is facing a very difficult decision on how she will need to voluntarily and without a disease yet, to deform her body in order to live a longer life and bless us all with her presence for many, many, many years to come.

How Lucky Am I?

I was able to get pregnant 3 times. One natural daughter, one IVF son, and one surprise son. My cancer receptors were both positive for estrogen and progesterone. Maybe taking all of those hormones to get pregnant helped the cancer form. But I have 3 beautiful children.

How Lucky Am I?

I have a husband that I warned before we got married that I would likely get Cancer. He married me anyway. He looks past my scars, he shaved my head for me, he has supported me, and has never once made me feel anything but beautiful and important. Scars, tubes, hot flashes, moodiness, and the ongoing daily issues I endure. He has dealt with it all and still stays put.

How Lucky Am I?
I had a mother-in-law that dropped everything in her life for me, again. When she wasn’t here, she called daily, without missing a day, just to see if I was okay. She laughed with me, cried with me, feared with me, concerned with me.

How Lucky Am I?
I had family members walking in my honor, sending cards and letters of encouragement, calling and thinking of me daily. I will forever love them for the ongoing support and love sent from so far away and from so many different places.

How Lucky Am I?

I had friends and neighbors helping with everything from food, to errands, calls, cards, gifts, flowers, handmade blankets and pillowcases, and unwavering love. I found out who and what real friends are.

How Lucky Am I?

I got Cancer, I am BRCA 2 positive, and I wouldn’t change anything. I have had the most incredible women in my life show me how to live. I have a husband that loves me despite all of my faults. I have 3 gorgeous children! I have friends, family, and neighbors I know I can count on.

Friday Fill In

2009-07-10T12:42:00.000-07:00

1. The last thing I ate was pizza and salad and cinnamon things.
2. Pool toys (are) is something I recently bought.
3. When it rains, it takes me back to my Summers in ABQ with my grandparents.
4. Jake was the first person I talked to today.
5. Hugs are awesome.
6. I need extra comfort.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to working, tomorrow my plans include swim lessons & helping Chelsea pack and Sunday, I want to shop & take Chelsea to the airport!

Busy, busy and busy! I have been trying to do 2-3 activites a day with the boys. They are bored in the house and driving me and each other crazy.
We go to the Childrens Museum, Barnes & Nobel reading time, Chick Fil A play place, McDonalds Play Place, Peter Piper Pizza, Bounce U, etc and swimming everyday. I have been in the house very little.
Charlie has been leaving for work at 4:30 and home between 7-8pm. He has the large projects due. It has been very tough for everyone. We all miss him so much when he isn't around!

I am also taking over funding research for oue Community Action Program subcommittee. So I have been working on that.

My newsletter for my community is way behind. Frankly I do not have much to say. There is not much going on that isn't depressing. I want to try to keep the newsletter as positive as possible and that seems hard in these economic times. So things are better left quiet I think for a little while.

Chowder is doing awesome. He is so cool!

So much going on! I need to go take a nap so I can work late tonight.

Love to all!

Friday Fill In

2009-07-03T10:26:00.000-07:00

1. When I heard my blood pressure yesterday I almost fainted.
2. Love is the best medicine.
3. It's late, but I need send Bern's son a graduation gift.
4. I am in awe of my children, always.
5. My eyes have seen a lot more than most people probably have.
6. My need for sleep overtakes my desire to be productive, strongly.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to working, tomorrow my plans include working and Sunday, I want to work!

My blood pressure yesterday was 160/115. I had them take it again 148/110. And again 152/113. OK so my BP is way too high. I am about to take it again here at home. I have been dizzy and headachey but I thought it was the medication. Guess not.
Chelsea at the very least insulin resistant, at the worst, diabetic. We are working on that now.
Charlie is stressed beyond words can say. I am worried for him, not helping my BP.

Honestly, things are not so great right now. We are all being pulled in different directions right now. Medically, mentally, financially.
My Dr. is looking over my med records to see if it was possible I needed 6 chemos and not 4. I wonder if I have to do the full 6 or can I just add 2 on?
She is concerned about my bone pain. I am too.

My Mom has to move out of her house. Her landlady is a dork. She found a new place so I am going to go help her move.

Josh took a permanent marker to the house and the cat yesterday.

OK need to go lay down. Hot flashes, killing me!

Friday Fill In

2009-06-26T09:17:00.000-07:00

Onc Nurse didn't think the bone thing was anything. Bone pain is better. Skipped Onc appointment, I know bad. I just have no desire to go back. I have such a handful here. I'm finding very little time to do the simpliest things. The kids are more demanding than ever. Even phone calls have become impossible. I am behind on every aspect of my life. I have had to try to keep the kids busy. We do two activities a day. A play place, lunch, swimming in the afternoon. When I take a day off, they fight and destroy the house. So I am doing my best to get them out.

1. She had a great and blessed life.
2. My kids are by my side, always.
3. I know this: my house will continue to be messy until my kids mature.
4. I want another baby still.
5. These words apply to me: lucky, blessed, happy, loved, unorganized.
6. Last week the sun was shining.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to working, tomorrow my plans include a movie & dinner with my husband finally and Sunday, I want to shop!

Bone Pain

2009-06-19T14:36:00.001-07:00

OK have some scary bone pain. Just called Mayo. They are calling the Dr. & calling me back tonight.
I also called Cancer Center of America which is right here in Avondale. So close! So I am going to see what they can do. Esp. if it is bone cancer!
So let me explain the bone thing. It did not dawn on me until about an hour ago. I was laying down to take a nap and realized that bone is not good! I've had it the last 5 days and didn't think anything of it. In fact, had I really thought about it, I fell down the stairs a few weeks ago & I would have thought it was related. But I did not hurt my back, just my foot and broke my toe.
It is my lower spine, hip, and 3/4 down my femur.
Nervous? You bet!
I'm expecting a call here shortly. It's going to be a busy week with scans and all that jazz. Ugh. Here we go again.

Cats

2009-06-17T08:36:00.000-07:00

OK so it seems I've just had bad luck with cats lately. Bentley ran away and never came home. We searched by walking the neighborhood, driving it, putting up signs, checking Craigslist, and he is just gone. He escaped when I was leaving one night. He just ran right out of the garage. Charlie tried to get him but he is so squirrely, he just took off. I am disturbed by it because I do not want him suffering.
So then, I went to my CAP Meeting (which I ran again) and there was a cat there stuck in the duct work. No one would take it, so I did. The second I brought her home she ran out of my car and into my neighbors garage. Luckily they were out and he was able to shoo her out. She took off and I have never seen her again. Sigh. Tried to do the right thing, no luck.

So for Father's Day I got Chowder! We have completely fallen in love with him! Isn't he precious?

So Chowder is our newest family member.

Went to Bunco Monday. Had a total blast! Chelsea won the most Buncos.
OK the boys need me again. I barely have time for anything these days. Sorry for the lack of updates. I thought as they got older, I would have more free time. Not so! I have way less!

So in this economy here is what I have discovered. Everyone is moving! It is so sad! You make friends and then poof, they are gone because of this economy. It is so weird to see the trickle. I hope that my sons don't lose any of their friends as time goes on.

Just got back from Avondale Splash Pad and then McDonalds play yard. I wanted to wear my boys out so I could work. It's been very nice and quiet!

Oh and I misspelled toe below. It has been driving me crazy. I need to fix it. I know toe is toe and not tow. The E and W are close by so it was a typo.

Loving my job so much! They are allowing us Special Agents to do something new and it looks like a blast! I love that we (all 160 of us out of thousands and thousands of agents) are making a difference in this newly formed company. Oh and BTW if you have any questions, 542542!

I am in love with Facebook! Having SO much fun on it! Have made some reconnections from long times past. Still cannot find my Sara :(

OK I will try to come back and post more later.

Friday Fill In

2009-06-05T08:49:00.000-07:00

1. I love being at home.
2. My favorite thing for dinner lately has been chicken fried steak & potatoes.
3. My neighbors dog does nothing but bark! bark! bark!
4. A nice long walk does not appeal to me.
5. I would love some good news.
6. When all is said and done, family is there.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to working, tomorrow my plans include taking Josh to his swim lesson and Sunday, I want to work!

So really quick. I fell down the stair day before yesterday. Ended up in ER then Urgent Care. Nothing broken. Though Charlie said last night the Dr. said my tow was broken. I don't remember that.

My friends daughter Breana is out of the hospital after lung surgery.

Charlie's sister Heidi is having a boy!

Pulled Josh out of camp because all they did was sit in this little room all day. I put him into a Sports Camp that starts Monday.

OK sorry, have to go make breakfast.

R.I.P. Otto Burnett

2009-05-27T08:31:00.000-07:00

Sadly, on Monday my sister had to put her beloved German Shorthair Pointer, Otto, to sleep. He was 14 years old and she had him since he was a puppy.

Please keep my friend Cynthia in your thoughts and prayers. Her daughter Breana is back at Childrens ICU with pneumonia again.

Friday Fill In

2009-05-22T10:04:00.000-07:00

1. Moving is not fun.
2. I love free things.
3. My best quality is dependability.
4. It's all in the details.
5. In nearly 10 years, I haven't been out past 12.
6. Sleep is what I need right now!
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to working, tomorrow my plans include working and Sunday, I want to work!

End of the school year party

2009-05-18T15:41:00.000-07:00

That would be mine, the one with his hand in his pants.

My friend's Blog

2009-05-15T08:29:00.000-07:00

I love when my friends blog. Then I can keep up with them when I cannot see or talk to them because we are all so busy these days.
Yea Mandy! She is blogging now! Check her out!

http://miklus-toomuchtime.blogspot.com/2009/05/my-first-post.html
I wonder if I supposed to spill the beans on her blog. I will ask first and repost the link if I get persmission.

Happy Friday everyone. I will do my Friday Fill-In a bit.

1. If we had no winter I would never live in Phoenix.
2. Animal abuse is a perpetual astonishment.
3. If I had my life to live over I wouldn't change a thing because I would have never met Charlie.
4. I sleep inside of four and twenty hours.
5. If you've never been thrilled wait until you hold your first baby. You'll never be the same again, it is pure love.
6. To be interested in the changing seasons I look forward to the good things about each season.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to working, tomorrow my plans include swim lessons, working, and watch my main man Alex and Sunday, I want to shop!

OK so here is a peeve. Why is it when you go to the store, fast food drive through, bank, etc. that they always error on the side of them? Think about it, as many errors as you have seen and encountered how many of us can say that we have had a bonanza in our favor? For instance, this last week we went to a fast food place and they forgot several items. That benefits the company. Why don't we get extra change, extra food, under charged items? Hmph!

Joke: During Church service the small children were invited to stand up infront and to say a short prayer to ask for help for something foranyone besides for themselves. This is one of those heartfelt sweetprayers:
"Dear God: Please send clothes for all those poor women in Daddy's computer. Amen."

Happy Friday everyone! I am taking Josh to school and then napping so I can work late tonight.
Love to all!

So behind!

2009-05-13T10:55:00.001-07:00

OK let me catch up a little.
First, please send thoughts and prayers to my friend Cynthia. Her daughter Breana is in ICU at St. Joe's with pneumonia. I called this morning and got a text back but no update. So I am going to bug her again here shortly.
Cynthia was the one who came in week after week and cared for the boy's after my chemo treatments. Her and her parents have been life savers!

Second a huge congrats to my BFF Bern. Her second to her last son David is graduating high school! I got the most beautiful announcement with his handsome photo in it. I cannot believe that young man is about to graduate. How time flies!

Happy Mother's Day to all the Moms, friends, neighbors, and family. I lazed around and had a great Mother's Day!

Addition:
A Newborn's Conversation with God A baby asked God,
"They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow, but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?"
God said, "Your angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you."
The child further inquired, "But tell me, here in heaven I don't have to do anything but sing and smile to be happy."
God said, "Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you. And you will feel your angel's love and be very happy."
Again the small child asked, "And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me if I don't know the language?"
God said, "Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak."
"And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?"
God said, "Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray." "Who will protect me?"
God said, "Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life." "But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore."
God said, "Your angel will always talk to you about Me and will teach you the way to come back to Me, even though I will always be next to you." At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from Earth could be heard and the child hurriedly asked,
God, if I am to leave now, please tell me my angel's name."

God said, You will simply call her, "Mom."

Monday was Chelsea's birthday. I had ordered cupcakes in the number 16 with white whipped cream frosting and pink polka dots. So I ran over picked them up, rushed to her school, and surprised her. The class sung Happy Birthday and then I took Josh to school. I think she enjoyed the moment.
Saturday we took Amy and Chelsea to Ah-So. I had a babysitter all lined up. Of course, she flaked on me and bless Mandy, she watched the boy's for us while we enjoyed a dinner. The last time we enjoyed a quiet dinner was when Nicole came over and watched the boy's and we went and saw Kathy Griffin. That was November. Before that, I don't think we have ever had a dinner alone. It was really nice!

Saturday before the dinner Josh had his first swim lesson. I know, it was supposed to be the Saturday before but I got there and the instructor informed me that the lesson was at 9:30 and they forgot to call me to tell me. One good thing came out of it though. I was wearing a Tshirt at the time because I was throughly embarrassed by my hideous appearance in a swimsuit. But there was one other person in the pool who was about my size and his hairy rear was hanging out. So I was thrilled to see him and felt very comfortable getting in the pool in my suit minue tshirt. So thank you hair butt man!
The lesson went well. It was outside because they were cleaning the inside pool. The instructor was filling in for our regular instructor. She was pretty slow and obviously did not know what she was doing. It worked out well though because we went nice and slow and it was what Josh needed.

So my freezer and fridge outside died within days of each other. So Friday the Sears guy came out and I have to replace both. So this weekend we are going to get a new freezer. Ugh.

Monday was Bunco. It was SO much fun and I actually almost won. I tied but lost the roll off. I can't wait for next month's game.

Last night was my CAP meeting. I didn't have to run it this time and it was a great meeting. We have lots of things to do for Buckeye!

Today we are doing haircuts because Josh has a school performance on Monday. I am so excited!

SO much going on! Hence my lack of updates. But I am trying, do I get an A for effort?
Love to all!

Friday Fill In

2009-05-08T10:09:00.001-07:00

First I want to put a link to one of my favorite videos: http://video.meroclub.com.np/video/2030/PIXAR-Short-Film-For.the.birds.2000

OK on with the show:

1. Apples are to oranges as I am to flying.
2. I hate cleaning and that's all I have to say about that.
3. I think I hear Jake breaking into to our tax folder.
4. Be proud to fly our American flag.
5. Do what you want to do, but be conscious about how you effect others.
6. _____ and behind him was a Radio Flyer wagon; in the wagon was a bucket filled with _____.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to working, tomorrow my plans include Josh's swim lesson, cleaning & Chelsea's birthday dinner and Sunday, I want to feed the donkeys, mules, and horses!

Quick update

2009-05-06T14:16:00.000-07:00

Chelsea's lymphnode in her neck came back clear! YEA!

Today I went to see my psychiatrist and he told me I have a sleep disorder. Aside from the night terrors we know I have which occur within the first 15 minutes of falling into a sleep, I also have a REM sleep disorder. The REM sleep disorder causes me to wake up and not know where I am. It is a confusion and I feel like I have to leave immediately. So I was given Clonipan. I have heard of but know nothing about it except that it is addictive. Great! So my theory to my Dr. was, why do they make good drugs but do not want anyone to take them?

On a cute note. I took the boy's with me. Charlie met me there so he could watch them. If you have ever been to Mayo Clinic, you will know what I mean. The boy's were looking at the waterfall and Charlie had already passed it. So he was at the other end of the hall. I said "there's Daddy". They both started screaming "DADDY! DADDY!" and they ran down the hall. There must have been about 50 people in the waiting area of scheduling and several others milling around. Everyone was laughing. People were coming out their offices. It was totally cute. Charlie was beet red of course and I was giggling. They love their Daddy!

OK I hear the boy's getting ready to punce on Wall-e (our Roomba).

Friday Fill-In

2009-05-01T08:54:00.000-07:00

1. The first rule of working in an office and getting along is compromise.
2. I've never eaten whole clams.
3. When I think of carnivals I think of unsafe rides & wasted money.
4. Stargazer Lillies are my favorite spring flower.
5. Things on my desk include trash.
6. Everything makes me wanna nap.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to working, tomorrow my plans include getting into a bathing suit and taking Josh to his first swim lesson and Sunday, I want to shop!

Almost Friday!

2009-04-30T12:44:00.000-07:00

And it could not come fast enough for me. The boy's have been crazed this week. I couldn't even begin to tell you.

So I am on a babysitter hunt. Nicole is out of town so I am looking for other people. It is good to have a few babysitters in your book anyway. I found someone I am really excited about. I called her references and I spoke with one. They gave her rave reviews. So she is going to watch J & J next weekend for Chelsea's birthday dinner at Ah-So. We didn't want to bring the boy's with a bunch of teen girls. It would ruin it for everyone I think.
Charlie wanted to go out this Saturday but this new babysitter is busy this weekend :( That's ok though. I am excited that she will be able to watch the boy's on the 9th. It will be nice to go out without having to sit outside until the food comes, shovel in what we can and get the rest to go.

Wow that Swine Flu sure has everyone nervous. I'm midly nervous. We never get flu shots and I think is what I am most nervous about. Because we never had them and we may have to get them, we will all have bad reactions to them? Eeek!

Oprah had a whole thing yesterday (yes, I hate Oprah but I watch the ones that are interesting to me) on Swine and MRSA etc. I had MRSA on my hand after one of my surgeries. Thankfully Charlie did a little research right as it began and we were able to contain it just fine. I thought I would have a scar but I don't. It just went away like it never happened. I also have been nose swabbed 3 times to make sure I am not a carrier. I am not. I'm kind of proud of my little defense systems. As compromised as they have been this last year, they fought off MRSA and were able to recover from a white cell count of ONE, yes, ONE. I was wearing masks but not as well as I should have and my little system just kicked into gear and did its job. So I reward it daily with chocolate LOL!
So speaking of cancer and all that. I think I am going to switch Oncologists to Cancer Centers of Amercia right over here in Goodyear. If anyone knows anything about them, let me know. The thought of seeing Dr. Karlin every 3 months for the next 5 years does not thrill me. So I think I want to make a switch.

Mom sold the house in Albuquerque. It is sad/happy. It is such a great house but it was time. Sigh. I guess that's it for Albuquerque. We still own land there though. My sister was talking about building on the family land. It would be so great to have her so close!

Josh is wearing underwear or as he calls them "weere" full time during the day. Not sure how to handle the night thing yet. I put him in a diaper. Should I put him in weere?

Charlie has been working a lot lately. Miss him. School is almost out so that will be a huge relief for me. The kids have been crazy lately and I want to work more. As it stands now I am lucky to get 1-2 hours a day in. On the weekends I work 3-4 hours a day and I love it!

Hope everyone is good. Love to all!

Friday Fill-In and Friends

2009-04-24T10:52:00.000-07:00

1. Apparently there's some sort of boy code to gang up on Mom.
2. I could do without a sunny day.
3. 2009 has been good so far.
4. I needed my boy's in my life, that was it.
5. For too long I've been suffering with panic/anxiety.
6. I am not obsessed with naps; I am not!
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to working, tomorrow my plans include possibly seeing Caron's baby and Sunday, I want to work!

So oh my gosh, I talked to my dear friend Vilma last night. Let me give you some background. Vilma and I met because when Charlie and I were dating he was working in a place and became friends with Tyler. Tyler and Vilma were dating. Vilma was a bridesmaid in my wedding and she took Chelsea to her first day of school with me. So Vilma and I have known each other for a long time. Vilma and Tyler did end marrying but Tyler kind of flipped out and she is now engaged to Ted, thankfully! Vilma graduated last May with her Ph.D. in Economics and has been a professor at a school in San Diego. But she has moved to be closer to Ted. I am so happy for her! It was great to talk to her last night! I've really missed her.

I am still sad that I cannot get a hold of my friend from college Sara. We totally lost each other. She moved, I moved, she called me and left a message, I called her and left a message with her roommate. I moved again, she moved again, and that was that. I left a text for her somewhere that I found her but she has never logged in to read it :( I miss her so much! She was absolutely awesome. She had one of the most tragic childhood's (her mother committed suicide) I've ever heard but she pulled through and was attempting to get her life together.

I feel so blessed to have friends like Vilma, Bern, Sara (even though we've lost touch, I know I will reach her again soon). They've been in life for such a long time and I love them dearly.

Today I have a terrible migrane. I've already put ice on my head and taken Tylenol. This one feels like it is going to need some of the stronger stuff though. Ugh! I want to work tonight but it really hard to work when I have a migrane. So I am going to take Josh to school and then take a nap. YEA!

Chelsea's ultrasound for her neck in not this Saturday but next. So please send positive thoughts her way.

Happy Friday everyone!

Proof of Love

2009-04-23T13:42:00.000-07:00

I love my son's so much, I am about to get into a public pool in my bathing suit. I have not been in public in a bathing suit in a long time. I signed Josh up for swim lessons yesterday and found out last night that I have to go in with him. OMG! So I am going to get him comfortable enough to move up into the next level up where I will not have to be with him and then I will sign Jake up for the Splash 101 class.
I need to get Josh comfortable around water because he and Charlie are going to South Carolina next Summer to attend Charlie's sister's wedding. Well, Charlie's Mom (Josh's MiMi) has a lake house and that is where Heidi is getting married. I am freaked out that Josh will be around water. So I figure if I can at least get him swimming, I may feel a little better but probably not. I have a knot in my stomach just thinking about it. We went to great lengths in the house to lock everything down. All windows are bolted, our sliding glass door auto shuts, all windows and doors are alarmed, and we got a custom fitted net over the pool. We also have a pool alarm but we never put it in because of the cover. I am so paranoid but it better safe than sorry. I will probably be taking Xanax the whole time Josh is gone. I am trying not to obsess over it already. It is still a year away. I will be pretty haggared by next year if I start really fretting now.

I took the children to the Dr. yesterday. Jake got 4 shots. Poor baby. Josh is all good, he is at 50% percentile fo height and weight. Perfect as always.
Chelsea, oh Chelsea. She has had this knot in her neck. I thought it was just a fatty tumor and it would go away. Well, it didn't. When the Dr. felt it, she felt it in a lymphnode. Never good. So I am taking her to the same place where they DX my cancer to make sure hers is not cancerous as well. Geesh.
Today she is going to the Dentist to get her tooth fixed. Remember a long time ago, she fell on her face in Wildomart? Well she chipped that same tooth and has to get it repaired. It is an ongoing fix until she is old enough to get them capped.

Charlie is having a rough day today. He got up late. He has been really gritting his teeth at night. Just having too much stress. So send him an email if you get a chance!

Hugs to all!

Quiet Moment

2009-04-21T13:24:00.001-07:00

I am actually in the middle of the quietest moment I have had in a very long time. It's really just so peaceful for once.

So I am not sure if I mentioned that I got a job about a month ago. I am answering text questions and I absolutely love it. Anyway, I had to take a series of tests etc and I passed. Then I was supposed to go into a shadowing phase but they forewent the shadowing and plunged me right in. It was a little nervewracking but I managed. Well, I have been really enjoying it and this last week I was given a promotion already. I will be a Quality Agent doing quality assurance on outgoing messages and also shadowing new incoming recruits. So it is kind of exciting. I finished up my training last night and I am waiting for the email telling me I am ready to go ahead. It has been kind of a release for me to be able to do something productive besides cooking & cleaning (niether of which I do well). I actually feel sort of useful!

Josh got the notice on Friday that he is too smart to continue preschool through Summer. It's good and it's bad. I mean, I think he going to miss it but I am glad he is so smart! He knows his ABC's and his numbers. He is pretty amazing.

Has my Community Action Program meeting Tuesday. An hour before the meeting, they called to tell me that the Chairperson could not make it and I would be running the meeting because I am Vice Chairperson. Yikes! I was so nervous but as soon as I started talking, it went away and I was fine. I actually liked it. So we have decided to have monthly meetings. Also, there is a committee person that used to teach Parenting Classes and I volunteered to assist teaching. People who are court ordered Parenting classes have to go really far away and I think that is crazy. You have a huge liklihood that the class will never be completed if you make it impossible to get to. So hopefully the Town of Buckeye will have a Parenting Class starting here shortly! Yea!

OK I need to get Josh enrolled into swim lessons and go pick him up.
Hugs to all!

2009-04-17T15:31:00.000-07:00

1. Join me in being thankful for what we have.
2. Put a little smile in your day!
3. Happiness is what we should all strive for.
4. Tired and confused & forget my children at home.
5. I'm waiting for my husband to come home.
6. Napping is hard to resist. (I bet you didn't see that one coming, HA!)
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to working, tomorrow my plans include shopping and Sunday, I want to hang out!

I know I've been slacking on the updates. What can I say?
My birthday. Ugh. Hated it and loved it. I am oddly glad to be 42. Maybe more like thankful. 41 I was in the hospital post bilateral mastectomy and not feeling so great. This time, I was post-op again but in a much better place. I got a Rooma for my birthday which I am in love with. I got an awesome new camera that fits in my purse. A back scratcher because my arms no longer can move the way they used to. I got ice packs for my headaches YEA! And my Mom took us out for lunch and dinner for 4 nights. It was an awesome birthday. I mean, really awesome. My Roomba is on at least 2 times a day and I hear there is a Scuba. OMG! Someone get me a paper bag to breath in. I am in love! So that is on my want list now.
Our Roomba is named Wall-e. He is totally cute and I love him.

So I need to tell me next Mom of the Year story. I am mortified that this happened. Last week I took Josh to school. I put Jake down and thought "I will just lay down for a few minutes" Next thing I know, it is 2:30 and I am supposed to be at Josh's school at 2:15 to pick him up. I am NEVER late for anything ever! So I tear out of the house, I cannot believe I am late. Of course they are painting the streets and there is traffic. So I call Charlie and ask him to call the school and tell them I am on my way. I pull up to school and realize I had left Jake at home in his crib. Am I THE worst mother ever? I cannot believe I did that. I have never even left my children in the car to go into 7-11. So I call Charlie and tell him. I will not repeat what he said in front of polite company but he was half giggling at me.
All was well when I got home but I will never live down that I left my child at home alone.
OK I need to go despite that I have more to say.
Hugs to all!

Friday Fill-In

2009-04-10T16:09:00.000-07:00

1. Anonymous...is a cop out, if you say something, make it from you.
2. Friendship is a blessing.
3. Let me embrace thee, sour adversity, for wise women say it is the wiset course.
4. Nice weather what I look forward to most about Spring.
5. Who needs therapy when you have a healthy stress outlet.
6. Dark Chocolate MUST go into the Easter Basket!
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to boiling eggs, tomorrow my plans include dying eggs & a birthday party and Sunday, I want to egg hunt and eat chocolate!

My beautiful sister

2009-04-08T11:41:00.001-07:00

This is Lisa and her horse Winston, yes the one that spilled her last week. Isn't she stunning?

This is during the dressage part of the the 3-day event. Cross country is her favorite part and also her best part. She always does very well. I am so proud of her!

BBL to post more I hope.

The Unbirthday

2009-04-06T09:30:00.001-07:00

I no longer wish to acknowledge my birthday. I am thankful for the wishes and the awesome gifts but it is just another day to me and I like it that way.

I got a Roomba! I think I am in love! And I got a new camera finally which I have wanted forever! Then my Mom took us out for breakfast, lunch and dinner everyday she was here. What a relief not to cook. It was awesome!

Thursday I made tacos. Friday Mom went in and saw Josh's classroom and then we got to see Chelsea in concert. She had a school performance. It was really good. Saturday we went to a dog show. Saw some cool dogs and a few Great Danes. It was a nice weekend.

Here is a photo of Jake at the dog show.

My left side is still hurting a little but certainly not as bad. I am not sure if there is a seroma still or not. Frankly I have not checked. Tired of dealing with it.

Talked to my sis yesterday. Miss her to death. She had a spill off Winston at a show last weekend. She is a little banged up but ok. She never falls so I was surprised to hear it. Winston refused the jump at the very last second because it was muddy and his feet were a little stuck in the mud. What a turkey!

Talked to Bern this week! Yea! I know it has been forever since we talked. I missed her. She was having major dog issues. I guess with 4 dogs, that is bound to happen. Bless her heart.

Chelsea is home sick today. She has a wicked cold. I think she sounds a lot worse than she actually feels.

Went over to Paul's (my marriage material neighbor) yesterday. I talked to him about what to expect with the surgery and such. I could have stayed there all day. He is so nice, cute and funny! He looks scared and a little worried. He should be fine though.

My Social Services Advisory Committee meeting is coming up. It's probably going to be a long one. We have a lot to discuss. I think I may need a babysitter because Charlie has school.

Charlie's school is going well. He is getting A's like I knew he would.

OK I need to go. Love to all!

Yet another one

2009-04-01T13:32:00.000-07:00

OK so had a Dr. appt. this morning. They took out 5 HUGE syringes of fluid. Sure enough, I had a large seroma develop once again.
We are in the in between stage of continuing to needle drain or retro fit a drain in.
It feels less tight after all that fluid was taken out however it is still red, swollen, and painful up into my armpit. It was hurting into my ear and that has gone away so I am happy about that.
I am due to see. Dr. R again on the 9th unless I get another collection starting. I think it is starting already because I leaked through my packing already which means there is more coming down. Probably from the armpit area. I am going to continue to keep pressue on it so that seroma cavity does not fill up again. If it does, surgery to remove the cavity and retro a drain in. I am ok with it all and it sounds a lot worse than it really is. I am fine :)
Today is my 1 year anniversary of losing my breasts. It was April 1 on year ago that I endured a 13.5 hour surgery with the amazing team of Dr. Gray, Dr. Rebecca, and Kristen. I am extremely blessed to have had such a wonderful team of Dr.'s, PA's, Anesthesiologists, scrub nurses, surgical nurses, anesthesiology nurses, Pathologists, and eveyone else that was in that room with me for 13 hours. I could never thank everyone enough. My cancer is gone and I feel great!
Love to all!

Getting there

2009-03-31T10:19:00.000-07:00

I'm very tired, swollen and sore.
Mom comes in Thursday. YEA!
Got our taxes back....it's all great news....finally!
Going to go lay back down.
Love to all!

Been ok

2009-03-29T09:59:00.000-07:00

Felt good Friday...even worked a little.
Felt semi-ok yesterday.
Today not so much. Lots of pain.

Surgery Today

2009-03-27T06:30:00.000-07:00

OK leaving the house right now. See everyone later!
Wish me luck!
Love to all!

Monday

2009-03-23T13:33:00.000-07:00

OK so I usually keep things I know about people private but this one has me very upset. As I was taking Josh to school my marriage-material-neighbor, Paul summoned me and say "hey can I talk to you?" So I thought I did something wrong, funny how the inner-child comes out when someone says "we need to talk". So I stood there sheepishly and as he approached I said "ugh oh, what did I do?" He said "Oh no nothing, but I got some bad news. I have cancer of the kidney." Well, needless to say I was devastated. I adore Paul and I just stood there in shock. So he told me he wanted to talk to me. He said he would make us dinner and have us over so we can go over what to expect. I talked to him and his sister (always sweet as sugar) for about 15 minutes. I hugged him and did not want to let go. It took everything I had not to cry for him, though as I write this I am teary. On a good note, it sounds like it is contained. They will take his kidney and hopefully that will be the end of it. There are so many things I want to do right now. I want to meal plan for him, go over and talk to him, sit with him and let him know things will be ok. But I am strapped to 2 children who also need me right now. So I will plan a time to go over. I want to cook dinner and have him over here. So I need to do some planning. I have surgery Friday and I am booked all day Thursday with pre-op stuff. So I need to figure it all out. I am incredibly sad for him. I really hate cancer.

I want to end my blog with that. Nothing else should be written today. Paul deserves a post to himself. Please keep him in your thoughts.

Friday Fill-In

2009-03-20T16:05:00.000-07:00

1. Why do we have to keep bailing out billionaires?
2. Sleeping and eating are now habits.
3. I have a sore throat.
4. I had never heard the phrase "the check is in the mail" and it really is.
5. I slept today the way I always do.
6. How was I to know that my baby Jake would bless my life.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to working, tomorrow my plans include getting a break from the children and Sunday, I want to relax!

Quickly, lay off Obama people. It is almost as if he can do nothing right. Politics aside, he is our president and he is trying to change things for all of us. So for pete's sake, give him a chance. All of us armchair quarterbacks need to give him the space to try to right what is wrong. I certainly did not see Bush making one single effort in changing the economy his last 8 months in office.
And so what if he went on Leno. What is that a sin now? Grr! 1 hour on Leno is not going to change our World. Heavens!

AIG- I love that they wanted to honor their contracts. I think what is most interesting is that had they not honored those contracts, who was going to stand up and sue? What a putz that person would be in the public eye if they sued for their bonus. In no way was anyone going to do that. AIG was wrong in paying out. If I were CEO, I would have taken the chance, not honored those contracts, and see what yahoo would try to get the money anyway.

Bentley is getting more comfotable. He is still very sketchy but he loves to headbutt your face and he likes helping Charlie get dressed in the morning. He is pretty cute.

Picking up Chelsea tomorrow.
Josh goes back to school Monday, yea!

Still napping. Can't help it, don't know what to do.

Mom is coming out for a few days in a couple of weeks-happy.
Love to all!

b-Fight

2009-03-14T10:03:00.000-07:00

OK so I am putting my envelopes into the back of the blue post office boxes. I know, not many people know that at the Buckeye Post you can open the backs and put packages in. Pretty cool. Anyway, there was a Bee. He just kept hanging around. I kept thinking, please just move on. Nope he had to land right on my packages. Shoot!
So I picked up the package and it made him mad. So of course he starts divebombing me. Well, naturally I am at the busiest intersection in Buckeye and I look like a fool fighting the air. There is no way anyone can see the bee. So I just look like a crazy person out there waving my arms around with two priority mail envlopes in hand. It probably looked like I was trying to take off and fly or something.
So I quickly got my packages into the PO Box and took off to my car. Because I may float like a butterfly but he stung like a bee!

Started my new job yesterday working as a kgb agent. I actually enjoyed it. It is pretty fast paced and there is no shortage of traffic asking questions. I learned a few things and had fun. So hopefully I continue to enjoy it.

This morning Chelsea is off to Monterey but apparently she missed her flight. So they are on their way back home and she will attempt another take-off at 8pm tonight. Or maybe I could lend her some priority mail envelopes and stick a bee next to her. Ha! Then she can fly herself there.

I didn't nap yesterday. I know, strange news huh? But it is news to me. I am exhusted today. Josh slept with us part of the night. And you know toddlers, they bed spin all night long. So Charlie got even less sleep than I did thanks for Prince Xanax I was out of it most of the night.

Josh's teacher told me that Josh is "very smart". Always nice to hear from someone else. I mean I think he is smart but what do I have to compare it to? Me? Yes, he is smarter than me already.

OK going to go lay on the couch and wait for Charlie and Chelsea to come home.
Hugs to all!

Friday Fill-In

2009-03-13T08:19:00.000-07:00

1. When I look to the left, I see a brown wall
2. The guestroom is the room that has the best view in my home.
3. Let it work itself out, it ususally does.
4. I would like to get my backyard done dirt cheap!
5. Driving is a responsibility that all qualified citizens must share.
6. If you have any favors you need feel free to call on me.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to seeing my husband, tomorrow my plans include taking Chelsea to the airport and Sunday, I want to work maybe!

Friday School Report

2009-03-06T16:01:00.000-08:00

Teacher: "He got a prize for good behavior all week, but he already ate it. It was chocolate"
Me: "Oh that's fine"
Teacher: "He had a great day today. He laughs at everything. He is just so cute"

I bet you didn't see that coming! HA!
What can I say? I beam with pride that his teacher likes him. I love when people call him cute!

Thursday Friday Fill-In

2009-03-05T19:15:00.000-08:00

It's Thursday and I am breaking the rules. I am doing my FF early. Sue me.

1. Adopting Bentley was my last random act of kindness.
2. Another place would be fun to visit.
3. I am very lucky and secure and able to give pretty sound advice in matters of the heart.
4. Coffee, tea or milk is what they used to offer on airplanes, remember those days?
5. Sometimes friends go their separate paths.
6. Our current president reminds me that there is possibly hope and help for all of us.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to bonding with Bentley, tomorrow my plans include going through training for KGB and Sunday, I want to shop!

Josh's School report from today: "He's just so cute!"
No school on Wednesdays
Josh's School report from Tuesday: "He's so cute!"
Josh's School report from Monday: "He's so cute!"
I wonder what it will be tomorrow.

Saw my Oncologist yesterday. Got tested for a few more cancers. I think that will be the story of my life.
Survivor tonight-excited
Ghost Hunters was ok last night. Was really expecting a big bang considering it was the end of GHI. I hope it is a great season for Ghost Hunters US.

OH.....Say Yes to the Dress is starting again. I think it starts this week on Bravo? PLEASE WATCH IT LADIES! You'll be glad you did!

Did I write about Josh's first experience with a urnial? Yes, I think I did. He sat in it. Bless his heart. Daddy has some work to do.

How did Octo Mom afford IVF?

Did you see Joaquin Phoenix's David Letterman interview? FUNNY! Loved it!

Funny: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LoGYx35ypus

National Geographic is going to Green Fridays so I will likely see my Mom more often- super happy!

Why can't priests marry? Isn't that just cruel, unjust and nearly impossible? Aren't you setting someone up for failure since it is considered a human need like food and water?

Nap update: I find that I justify things very well. I am glad I am not a drug addict. I think I could justify about anything. I am still napping. I can't help it. I am addicted. Is there a Nappers Anonymous? It's embarrassing. I am ashamed. I cannot stop.

Charlie is getting excellent grades in school. I miss him. We spend so little time together these days. I think it is time for a Date Night.

Hugs to all

Meet Bentley

2009-03-03T11:14:00.000-08:00

Yup, I did it. I made the jump and got a cat. I will not tell you his original name because I want everyone to know him by the name given to him by us. Bentley.

He is a Snow Bengal and just amazing looking as you can see. Gotta love them exotic cats! He was a show cat but the owners forclosed and had to give him up. He is 2 and a half years old and true to Bengal style, he growls, roars, and loves water. I have yet to see him much but I am sure that will change over time.

This morning was Chelsea's IEP. It went swimmingly. All is well.

I just took Josh to school. No tears from anyone. He looked happy.

Gosh, I've just been on the run lately. I knew this day was coming. Picking this child up, dropping this one off, going here, doing that. I will pick up Josh at 2 and then pick up Chelsea from Teen Scene at 5.

I've been a horrible wife. Didn't make dinner last night or lunches today. Feel bad.

Phone BBL

First Day of School

2009-03-02T14:10:00.000-08:00

Josh started school today.

I know, you want to know how I did LOL! I did fine actually. Josh walked right in and made himself at home.
And in true McCracken fashion, there is a story to tell. So, I bring Josh in and the teacher keeps looking at my nametag. I thought, ok I guess maybe people don't really wear them. But when you are a guest on campus you have to sign in and wear a nametag. It wasn't until I got home that I realized that I had the remote control in my shirt. It is my hiding place because if the boy's get the remote, I will end up watching Elmo all day long. I had forgotten to take it out of my shirt. So I had this giant projectile sticking up out of my shirt. I have no feeling there so I totally forgot it was there. Ugh! Embarrassing!
Second, Josh has not been introduced to a urinal. So they take them to the potty and Josh tried to sit in the urinal. Then they sort of showed him what to do and well, it didn't go well. He came home in spare shorts.

Leaving in a few minutes to view a cat.
Did I tell my Sunday prision story?
Shoot, I didn't. Yes, Chelsea and I went to a prision to see a cat. It is the Sheriff Dept. Pets on Probation program. It was a cat from Katrina. It was so skittish. Anyway, I much more to say on the prision. I am proud to say, it was a different experience for me! It was haunted too.

OK so hopefully I will get back later but don't count on it. I will write more about the prision thing later.

Friday Fill In

2009-02-27T15:03:00.000-08:00

OK first check out my man Stains: http://animal.discovery.com/videos/its-me-or-the-dog-stains-the-cupcake-dog.html

Second, thank you to Mrs. Mandi for having us over for a playdate this morning. My children totally destroyed her house, ate her food, and hasseled her animals and she was so nice about it all.

1. I'm in love, I'm lucky, I love my life.
2. Why do I have the ability to overcome so much and not be able to have the will power to lose weight.
3. How does this texting thing work, anyway?
4. Every morning, I put toothpaste on my toothbrush.
5. I consider myself lucky because my children are happy and healthy.
6. One day we’ll see if I can get on a plane.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to staying up super late, tomorrow my plans include nothing and Sunday, I want to play Uno!

Current scary moment: there is a missing full bottle of chocolate syrup in the house. This scary moment is second to the found lid of a missing Sharpie. I did recover that Sharpie thankfully on the plastic chair runner in the office. The full opened bottle of chocolate syrup remains to be found. So though I wanted to stay up late tonight and do something that required no brain cells, I will be doing a search and rescue of the said chocolate syrup. Please send prayers.

Thursday

2009-02-26T07:22:00.001-08:00

Great inventive title, eh? Big surprise, too tired to think.

So soap scum. It bothers me. How can the epitome of clean be scum? I just do not get it. The one thing that is supposed to get you and your belongings the cleanest has a scum factor? That scum can be nasty too. Slimy, discoloring, and even needs special cleaners to clean what is supposed to be clean. How weird is that?
So as I sat this morning looking at my soap scum and weed wacked my legs, sadness fell over me. Winter is over. Here we go from Winters of 60's to Summers of 90+. Yesterday was 91 according to my truck. Who the heck needs weather people? They say 80 something I say my truck temp. was way more accurate. It was hot. I am sure some of that is because I am menopausal and hot all the time. I love our Winters here. Nice and cool. Just beautiful.
Sigh, Summer is upon us. Now I have to shave my darned legs. Ugh. I rather love my Winter coat on my legs.

No plans really for today. I need to buy diapers. I would like to wait until later though when I will not have to manage the corn children by myself. So we will see if I can hold out. Yesterday they went through about a doz. diapers. So we will see how far I can push today without having droopy drawers or smells so bad it peels paint.

Yesterday I got Josh's IEP done. I was supposed to go over and register him but forgot my proof of residency. As if everyone is dying to be in the Buckeye District. I would think my word would be good enough. Not so. So I had to drive all the way home to get a bill and by then the children of the corn had checked out and were ready for a nap. I have to get him registered today because he starts school on Monday. So I figure this afternoon after lunch will be a good time.

OK need to go, the corn kids are too quiet. I will attempt to be back later.
Oh before I forget, I joined this group and love it:
http://www.meetup.com/West-Valley-Moms-Group/

Lots of activities and I love the person who runs it. She is kind, considerate, and everyone really likes her. She has already written me and email. She is already a plus in my book. I like how diplomatic she is too. I've already gone to a few activities and they were a blast!

Really quick story before I forget. While at the Airshow I had run into Debbie who is head of my committee for Buckeye. Anyway, she asked us to fill out these surveys and we would be entered into a raffle for helicopter rides and other things. That is how we won the helicopter rides. So about 30 minutes after we filled things out we hear "OK folks, we are doing our first raffle. If you hear your name, you have 30 minutes to respond for your prize. Here we go. Chelsea with no last name. Chelsea with no last name. If you are Chelsea with no last name, you have won a helicopter ride" Well, gee, who could that be? I think everyone knows by now that Chelsea is special needs. These are the kinds of things that she does. Sometimes funny, sometimes annoying, always Chelsea. So now we have been calling her Chelsea With No Last Name. Next time you see her, make sure you remind her she has no last name LOL!
While on the subject one other quick sotry because Jake is whining at me. Charlie, Chelsea, myself, and Josh (pre-Jake) went into Cabela's to get something for Charlie's trip to Alaska. When we walked in Chelsea pointed and said "look Mom fish sticks". She was pointing at the fishing poles. LOL!

Monday

2009-02-23T08:04:00.000-08:00

Even the word Monday just sounds drab. Doesn't it?

OK so really quick. I am off to Gymboree this morning with Miss Mandi and the West Valley Moms Playgroup. I just joined them and so I will meeting some members this morning. I am excited! The kids are dressed in their Okies (cozy fun clothes) and we are ready to go.

OK so when I get home I will write more. Subjects:

Coyote Flake
Dirty Money

I think I may have told this story before. If so, sorry. So while we were living in Wildomart, we had little to no animal services. This includes dead animal pick up. Well, someone hit a coyote and it never got picked. Day after day it got flatter and flatter. Drier and drier. Then it just became this weird coyote flake that started to slowly blw away with every car that went by or ran it over again. Well, it seems like there has been an inordinate amount of run over animals lately around here and the 10. I do not know where our dead animal pick up has gone but I see the beginnings on cat flake, dog flake, rabbit flake, and coyote flake. So yummy in the morn!

The Gymboree thing went really well. My children had a blast. The only semi-bad thing that happened at Gymboree was that someone bit Jake really hard. It looks really bad on his lilly white skin. So I will make sure I keep an eye on it. I wish I knew who did it so I could watch Jake more closely when he is around that child.
Josh is currently passed out in the doorway of the office behind me. I could not get him to take a nap. I think I am going to give up on even asking. Wherever he ends up, he ends up. It doesn't bother me. I am so over being ridgid. Maybe it is an age thing but I am much more casual about things with the boys than I was with Chelsea.

So while I was at my Moms Night Out (MNO from now on). Lynnette was talking about how she would count money at the end of the night where she worked. She said she and her co-workers would sit and eat M&M's and stuff not even thinking about how dirty the money was. I would have never thought about it either. But have you noticed lately that there have been oodles of shows all toting around their little ultaviolet lights to show us all how dirty we are. How dirty phone are, hotel sheets and floors, money, public handles, etc. Yes, I appreciate the information but has that information now hurt us? I mean I think we are all so careful with handwashing and using santizier but yet all new illnesses keep appearing. Illnesses that are resistent to our antibiotics. One of my greatest interests has always been epidemiology. So I have to sit and wonder was it the chicken or the egg. Have the diseases come about because we are trying to wipe them out or have we all gotten more careful because of the diseases that are popping up? Interesting huh?

Went to the Buckeye Air Show on Saturday. It was yet again a wonderful event. We had so much fun! Saw some of the girls on my Social Services Committee. Chelsea and Charlie went on helicopter rides. Chelsea won one raffle and I won the other so they were free. Saw some of our awesome firefighters and police officers whom I totally adore. There were hot air balloon rides, a huge display of working remote airplanes including a jet and a helicopter, the jets were there again, oh, it was just so cool. Can't wait till next year!

Thats it for now, Josh just woke up.
Hugs to all!

Friday Fill-In

2009-02-20T20:33:00.000-08:00

OK so I am all backwards on the FF. So I am doing last weeks today.

1. It seems like I never get enough sleep.
2. Be proud of yourself when you're done, please?
3. If I thought you needed me I'd be there for you!
4. Friendship is what I think of most when I think of you.
5. To me, Valentine's Day means the retail business is cashing in on the guilt of men.
6. My family gives me strength.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to Mom's Night Out with Lynnette and Mandi, tomorrow my plans include Buckeye Air Show and babysitting my little man Alex and Sunday, I want to grocery shop!

Had a total blast tonight at Moms Night Out with Mandi and Lynnette (yes, w/ 2 N's). Loved Manuels Mex! Yum! Even had a delicious fried ice cream. Sad the Lynnette is moving to UT. Will miss her.

Talked to my Mom finally after many days of not being able to reach her. She was in San Antonio at a biz meeting. Missed her.

Getting ready for Josh to start preschool :( Will miss him so much! It's only 2.5 hrs a day. I should be ok LOL!

Feel ready to get on a plane and test out these meds. Where shall I go first?

Saw Leslie's ultrasound. So happy her baby is healthy. So excited for her. She is a wonderful mother! Can't wait to see Mandi's next :)

March 4th find out if Obama's plan will help us. Excited.

Love to all!

Sad News

2009-02-19T15:02:00.000-08:00

Bless my sister's heart. I do not want to go into too much personal detail but my sister had a miscarriage last weekend. I am sad for her and Randy and sad for the rest of the family too. I will leave it at that.

My mother in law, Gail, just left this morning. Sigh. I woke up and said goodbye to her and then could not go back to sleep knowing she was not here. It was so nice having her here. Someone to talk to, someone to help me, someone that is so kindhearted. We had a great time while she was here. We went to the zoo VIP style because her cousin works there. We got the be taken around on a golf cart and got in for free. It was SO nice! It is the only way to see the zoo. We played cards, Bunco with the girls, surprised Chelsea at school by having lunch with her, shopping, and Josh's birthday party. Though we had a lot of down time because Josh is on a weird sleep schedule and Jake was teething, it was still fun. I am sure she was bored many days because the boy's have their own schedules but I hope she had as much fun as we did. We miss her already and wish she was here.
She was so complimentary of my cooking. I kept thinking, "can't you just live here?" She is a great cook so a compliment from her was like a compliment from Rachael Ray. It made me feel really good. I have much more confidence in my cooking today than I have in a long time. I have such a horrible complex about my cooking.

Josh's birthday. HOW FUN! Almost everyone showed up that said they would show up. That was nice. You know how I feel about flakes. There was plenty of food and people ate, also two great things. People brought gifts. I know I need to get on thank-you cards. -Working on it.

I have another surgery scheduled for March 27th. Another revision of the left breast. Should be short and sweet.

Josh had a hearing test and had to be referred to a Dr. The Dr. said he seemed fine but on little guy's, hearing is difficult to test. He will start school on March 1. MY BABY!

Bunco was a blast. Had 11 people. People ate, thankfully. I burned my Savorings, of course. Gail had 12 straight losses and won money LOL! No one has ever seen 12 straight losses.

Charlie's sister Heidi is pregnant. She is having a really hard time. I feel bad for her. I have been there. Morning, noon and night sickness, emotionalism, not fun but worth it all in the end. What I would not give to have another baby. -Been the subject of me and my counselor's discussions lately. The emptiness of the inability to have anymore children. Lots of tears and tissues. Will I ever get over it?

I will upload videos and photos later.

Friday Fill-In Catch Up
1. Give me smile and I'll smile back.
2. Whenever I see my husband, I know why I love him.
3. I wish children were always protected.
4. Little brownies was the last thing I ate that was utterly delicious.
5. To live in this world you have to realize people can be mean, untruthful and untrustworthy but have faith in them anyway, everyone has a good side.
6. Other than this one, I think Traci is the last blog I commented on.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to cooking and relaxing, tomorrow my plans include Josh's B-day Party and Sunday, I want to go to the zoo in style!

Friday Fill-in

2009-02-06T15:29:00.000-08:00

1. Please don't tell me you are having a bad hair day until you see mine.
2. Can you smile in the morning?
3. The color pink makes me want to lose weight!
4. I have a craving for See's carmels and nuts candy, so much for the lose weight thing.
5. If my life had a pause button, I'd pause it right now so I can have my health, family, and friends all healthy and happy.
6. Eyes are the itchiest part of my body since moving to AZ.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to hanging out with the husband, tomorrow my plans include going to a birthday party and shopping and Sunday, I want to cut lots of coupons!

Thank you's are so important to me. I always feel like I never say it enough. Especially lately. I have so many people to thank and for so many things. I feel overwhelmed by the thought. I was taught to write thank-you's. Unfortunately, I did not write my thank-you's this year for Christmas. That surgery came and then I just felt so tired all the time. So I am sorry for all the thank-you's I did not write this year. I am also deeply disturbed at myself because I never wrote a thank you to Mandy or Leslie for the flowers post-hysterectomy. I am bothered by it so I am going to get on it or it will keep me up at night.
I hope the people that I thank and need to be thanked really know how much I appreciate every single little gesture, favor, gift, well-wish. It has been a heck of a year and I could not be where I am without all my family and dear friends. So THANK YOU from the top of my lungs! I love you all!

Forgotten Fill-In Fridays

2009-02-04T15:53:00.000-08:00

I keep forgetting to do this:

1. I'd really like my husband to be home right now.
2. &*^% is the word you'd most often hear me say if I stubbed my toe.
3. Possession is a word that mean something negative or positive.
4. I love Captain Jack Sparrow.
5. Marshmallows and fire go together like peanut butter and chocolate.
6. The love for my family grows on and on.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to relaxing with Charlie, tomorrow my plans include hanging around and doing things that need to get done and Sunday, I want to shop.

My daughter's assitant principal was just arrested for innappropriate conduct with a student. I've had to instruct Chelsea not to talk to the press. What a weird thing.

Diary of a Shopping Trip

2009-02-01T12:37:00.001-08:00

10am- Get both boys diapered and dressed
10:30- Load into the car, pass out juices, turn on movies, hand out earphones.
10:45- Leave to go to the store
10:55- Park, get both boys out of the car. Hold one while one-handed undo the carseat safety belts.
11:00-Grab a cart and try to force both or at least one into the cart so I only have to track one baby at a time. No luck, both want to push the cart. Fine as long as I get to steer. No luck there either. Josh insists he is a good driver and can steer himself and removes my hands with whine. So I go to the front of the cart to to act as a bumper to the innocent/secret steerer.
11:03- I try to keep us straight but the boys know where the cookie counter is. "cookie" "cookie" "cookie" until I finally acknowledge "do you want a cookie?" "I dooooooo".
11:03 (still) head to the cookie counter where my children stare down the very busy bakery ladies. They put on their biggest starving children eyes and peer through the black rubber mat doors.
11:04 Bakery ladies acknowledge my clearly starved children and gives them 3 cookies. Perfect! One for each and one to fight over. Good thinking! Thank you Bakery Lady!
11:04 (still) head over to the fruit section because I have coupons. Get the 2 fruits I need and the cart moves on (whether I want it to or not).
11:05 and there is a nice big straight away. Heart sinks. They're off! I run to cath up to the front of the cart (my only allowable designated spot). I veer them left into Pickles and Peppers aisle. I have every intention of "shopping" for dice jalapenos. iThe cart railroads down the aisle, I shield the innocent, grab a glass jar of sliced jalapenos and tell myself how lucky I was to get the jar. Totally not what I wanted but if I shopped for any amount of time, I would have to sprint to catch my rolling cart. I can chop jalapenos!
11:05 (still) and we turn right into a more trafficky part of the store. Oh God. Next aisle looks good so I veer them down it. I do not need anything but I again save the innocent from the out of control cart being run by toddlers.
11:06 get to the back again where it is a wide open long straight runway. Oh no. Jake sees hotdogs and decides he must stop and look. Josh continues on, happier now that he is in full control. Another mother kindly intervenes and watches Jake and I run to get my cart. I get the cart stopped and tell Josh to wait. I go back to get Jake and thank the kind mother for her assistance.
11:10 grab cheese...still not sure what I got.
11:12 Grab a bunch of Savorings, still not sure what I got.
11:13 Get frozen cookie dough.
11:20 go into the pharmacy section and they both want to play with the blood pressure machine. Perfect! I get the few things I needed, got exactly what I needed, price compared, looked around. It was heaven for a moment. I think I even saved a few bucks by being able to stop and look.
Time to go to check out. Oh Geez.
I count my items. 19 on the nose. I can go to the quick check. Perfect!
Jake is pushing the cart over and over into the lane hitting the coveyor. Josh takes off because there is an ATM Machine.
I call Josh and tell him if he stays with me, I will take him to McDonalds. "MCDAWNAWDS!" "MCDAWNAWDS!""MCDAWNAWDS!""MCDAWNAWDS!" "FWENCH FWIES!" "FWENCH FWIES!""FWENCH FWIES!" As I am unloading and Josh is screamung "FWENCH FWIES!" and "MCDAWNAWDS!" they are spinning the grocery bag holding. It was going a good 5 RPM's. The kind cashier said "oh watch their fingers" as she is trying to catch the lazy suzy that has now become a merry-go-round from Haides. So I am pulling them away over and over. I quickly run the card pulling both boys off the lazy susan plastic bag holder and we are done. Whew.
We go to leave, Josh bee lines for "MCDAWNAWDS!" yelling the whole way. Jake decides he wants to go into Customer Service. So I go to grab Jake and he decides to lose all his bones and flop to the floor. So I pick him and and he arching backwards over my shoulder. Now suddenly no one wants to push the cart. So I am one-handedly pushing the cart with Jake flopped backwards over my shoulder and Josh is up ordering his own food at "MCDAWNAWDS!"
I pull my cart over go in and order. I hand Josh his bag and we load into the car. Josh passes out with a chicken nugget in his hand.
I get home, get both boys to bed, flop on the couch and think about why it is I am so tired all the time.

Nice day today

2009-01-27T12:58:00.000-08:00

So this morning Mandy called and asked if we wanted to go to Avondale Library for Toddler Reading Time. Well leave it to me to get us totally lost and we were late. I guess reading time is only like 15 minutes and then there is a craft after. We were 15 minutes late and therefore too late to participate. I felt really bad.

So then we went to McD's and had a play date. It was great. Everyone played very nicely and Jake ate like a champ (as usual). Josh was off playing (as usual). It was nice to actually stay awake and be a part of humanity again.

Last night I babysat Mandy's adorable son Alex. He is the most mellow child. He just does his own thing and he is so quiet. My children are so crazy compared to other people's children. It is kind of embarrassing. I would not call my children like bad children but they are energentic. Hence the reason I rarely go to playdates. I am always afraid that my children will mow everyone down. However, we went to Leslie's son's Jake's birthday party last weekend or maybe the weekend before and my children were not too bad. I was impressed. So maybe there is hope for them yet.
So on that note, let me tell a quick funny. When Chelsea was little, she too was somewhat energetic. I think my children get it from me. I would not necessarily call it like ADD or ADHD but just being children with exuberance. Nice way of saying it, isn't it? I was totally against any medication for Chelsea but as she got older, she was miserable so we put her on Adderall. It was a miracle for her. I took her off about 2 years ago and she is fine. So anyway, Charlie, Chelsea and I were going past our old house in La Jolla and we happened to go up over Mt. Soledad, which is where our old house was and also Chelsea preschool. Ha! She said "Hey Mom, there is La Jolla Preschool Academy, how can I help you?" Chelsea had spent so much time in the office she thought the name of the school was La Jolla Preschool Academy how can I help you because that is how they answered the phone.

Tonight is our HOA meeting. I do not think there is anything super important to talk about tonight. Should be an early evening.

Tomorrow I am picking up a new office chair for Chelsea. I found a really nice chair in Buckeye. I asked the person if he would take $25 instead of $50 and he said yes. I am so excited! So I am moving Chelsea's chair down here for Josh and putting the new (used but new to us) chair in Chelsea's room.

OH! Oh my gosh! After the Superbowl, Wipeout Bowl is on. I am SO excited! I hope a lot of people watch and respond because I am in love with that show. And since I am on the subject, I have to say, the tele execs have outdone themselves during this off-seaseon. Let me list the new shows I am in love with: Howie Do It, Gameshow in My Head, Real Housewives of OC (TRASHY TRASHY TRASHY), Rock of Love Bus (SO BAD), of course my Ghost Hunters International, Say Yes to the Dress (all reruns right now, boo hoo), The Shift (true crime, not for the faint of heart), First 48 (also not for the faint), 18 and Counting The Duggar Family, Josh & Kate Plus 8, and I am sure there are a few more but I am not remembering them. So you see, there is funny, totally trashy, and family friendly. I hope some of the shows continue on. Like Say Yes to the Dress, Howie Do It and Gameshow in my Head. OH and of course Wipeout and Ghost Hunters. I know Survivor is starting here shortly, that makes me happy. That also means that Amazing Race is starting soon. YEA!
I would like to see Little People Big World come back on and there was also a show Little People Big Wedding or something like that. They were the nicest couple. I would like to see them on a regular basis.

My house is eerily quiet right now. I think I am in heaven. I can hear myself think for once. I am get a thought out, it is really quite nice.

Lessons this week: cheese sandwiches that do not want to be eaten fit nicely in a computers DVD drive. Peanut Butter crackers do not print well. The bottom slat of a kitchen chair accomodates a small backwards toddler and will keep him there like pillory stocks.

When Mom is on an important phone, screaming "POO-POO!!" over and over will be the surest way to get her off the phone.

SO much going on!

2009-01-25T15:26:00.000-08:00

OK aside from the constant sleeping, I have so much going on. If I could stop with the 2-3 hour naps I may actually be able to get some things done. But as always, I just cannot help myself. I go up to put the boys down for their naps and my bed calls my name. I have tried, "oh I will just lay down for a minute and rest", two hours later I shamefully pour myself out of bed. I've tried "ok sleep but only for 30 minutes", again, 2 hours later sometimes 3 hours, I shamefully get myself up and out of bed. It is really bad. I'm going to try something new tonight. I simply cannot function like this. Too much of my free time is being eaten up by sleeping. Is this what menopause does? I see my doctors all in the next few weeks. I have lots of questions!

Friday was Mom's Night Out. Can I just say, I had a blast? It was in beautiful Verrado at Grazie. It was Patricia, Rachel, Nicole, and myself. I did not want to leave. I definately dominated the conversation. I was just aching to talk I think. And they kindly listened, with patience, as I babbled on about I don't know what. I cannot wait for the next one.

OK so as you can see, I am going to be an Aunt. I know, if your jaw has dropped to the floor, you can imagine how my mom and I feel. My sister vowed to never have children. Well, when I came up positive for breast cancer and BRCA2 and then she found out that she is BRCA 2+ as well, that changed everything. I could not be happier. So this is how it went. She confessed to me that she was "late", so I said and are you going to take a test? She said she would get around to it. She flew here to take care of me and she herself was sick with a cold. I felt so bad. The sacrafices my family has made for me my whole life. How do you ever say "thanks"? Just a simple word and never as effective as I want it to be. So I stated to her that I too had a cold with both boys when I was first pregnant. So phone calls from the hospital to check in at home were always met with "when are you going to test?". The same answer, "I don't know". Finally the last night in the hospital I said "OK Lisa, tomorrow when you pick me up, I am making you test". The next day she came to get me and I was brushing my teeth. She laid the tests in front of me. I about fainted. I wanted to scream but considering I was in the hospital, it took everything I had not to for fewar of scaring the RN's. Well, I fell apart. I do not know who to be happier for. Me, I am goig to be a first time Aunt, my sister and Randy for bringing another beautiful baby into this world, my Mom for getting another grandchild, Peggy for getting a grandchild 4 months after the husband she spent 50 years with died, my children who will have a cousin close in age. I mean, Lisa and Randy have created a whole new level to several families and I am so excited! I told Charlie today, I need to make sure I do not hog the baby too much. I can see myself wanting to be close to the baby all the time. I was like that with our kids too. Actually we both were. We would take turns having the babies sleep on us or in our arms. I never like to put them down. I get very attached and so does Charlie. So I need to make sure I let go a little and just play Aunt and not Mom. It is going to be very hard.
Charlie's Mom has agreed to come out and watch the boys while I, yes ME, as in Andi, will get on a plane and see my sister. Did you read that? A PLANE, as in airplane, wings, flying tube. I feel ok about it. I like to think the Lexapro has me straight. We will see when I actually get there what happens to me. I have to be there. I just have to and with all my being, I will be there.
So you saw the video of Mom and how happy she was. Well, Lisa had called Randy on the way to pick me up and she said "Happy New Year Daddy". Typical male "what?". Repeat "Happy New Year daddy"...pause...."are you trying to tell me something?"...."Ummm yea....I'm pregnant" So he stayed up all night and did internet research. Called her every 30 minutes all day long reminding her to do this and that and don't do this and that. She was due to leave on Wednesday but I told her I was fine and to get her tail home. Then Randy sent her flowers.....say it together......awwwwwww. So she got a ticket and left on Saturday. She surprised him....say it again......awwwwww. I was able to give my sister up to her husband but it was not without complaint. I miss her. I would do just about anything to have her and my Mom here. When I cannot sleep I sit and think about if I ever won the lotto what I would do. It is one of my favorite things to think about. I would get whatever my sister wanted to make her move, get my Mom a nice house and whatever she wanted all so we could be together. It is the one thing I want most and it is the one thing I am not sure I will ever get. I am so jealous of families who live close together. I see them at restaurants and such and I just sit and wish it was me.

So....ha....Charlie has been dreaming about working for a gaming company. He loves EA and that is where he does his community weekends where he plays and tests games. Well, there is an opening for him in Dundee Scotland. So they are sending him the paperwork for a work Visa and we will go from there. Scotland? Holy cow! Now how would I get my Dane over there?

OK BBL if I can.

Do you know this young man?

2009-01-21T14:58:00.000-08:00

OK I am in need to find this young man! Chelsea said his name is Michael. He is the one who saw Chelsea standing alone crying against the wall because she got stood up by her friends and she was alone. He asked her if she was ok and then asked if she wanted to hang out with him and his friends. He danced with her all night and she was over the moon when Charlie picked her up.

Does anyone know him? I want to contact his parents and tell them they raised a wonderful young man.

He took a huge risk dancing with the special ed. girl at the dance.

THE BEST NEWS!

2009-01-17T16:42:00.000-08:00

Rip VanAndi

2009-01-15T17:35:00.000-08:00

OK this sleeping thing is for the birds. It is all I do and because of it I am woefully behind on everything. Laundry, meal planning, coupon cutting, etc. I tried with all my might to "just lay down" today. The next thing I knew it was 2 hours later and the I could hear the children in their cribs playing. Ugh! Tomorrow, I vow to stay awake for the day.

Monday was Bunco night at Janelle's. It was A LOT of fun! We had 11 players including Chelsea. She had a blast and everyone was very kind to her. She has such a hard time at school, she always has so when people are nice to her, it really overwhelms her. She can't stop talking about it. We carpooled with Mandy and Chelsea totally adores Mandy. So that made the night extra special for her. Next month is my host night. So far I have me, Chelsea, Rae (my neighbor), my MIL, and hopefully some of the regular Bunco gals. I know this is a drive for them and I always appreciate when they do drive all this way.

Next Friday is Moms night out. I am excited to get out and just hang out for a few hours.

Last night I had a Focus Group in Phoenix about dog food. It went really well. Everyone there was competent, well-spoken, and we actually ended up getting out early.

I have so much to write about. I am SO behind and all I can think about is bed. Geesh!

Are you watching Say Yes to the Dress?????

R.I.P Mrs. Sanchez

2009-01-07T10:03:00.001-08:00

My Aunt Therese's Mother Esther Sanchez passed away and they laid her to rest yesterday. She was a incredibly sweet woman and she will be missed!

http://www.blocksalazarmortuary.com/sitemaker/sites/blocks0/obit.cgi?user=ester-sanchez&printIndex=1

Back

2009-01-06T10:34:00.000-08:00

Sorry I never came back yesterday. Now that Mom left, I have a million things to do. Just need to catch up on laundry, cleaning, etc. Though I did none of them, they still need to be done. I am just so tired. So I am going to give myself a little break and let things go for awhile. I will get to it when I get to it. Right now I need to rest as needed.

OK so I called Rae and sure enough, the foster girl was not supposed to contact her BF. I felt terrible and apologized profusely. My rule is that the door stays open while playing games or having friends over. I never thought I needed to actually go in and check because I never did with the other foster child. I need to remember this is a totally different person and I should have checked. I felt terrible. Because I didn't check, she is now not allowed over until she rebuilds the trust with Rae and me. Gosh I feel bad.

Mom made it to Chicago ok. She already misses the boys and we already miss her. I hope she plans to come back soon.

Josh got his own computer finally and the child computer Nana bought for him is now on the floor for Jake. So now everyone has their own computer. We have 5 computers! However, for some reason, I keep finidng everyone on MY computer still. What the heck?

I had the best Christmas ever. I got so many things I wanted and needed. I got a beautiful new pan with a lid that I love, 2 sets of sheets (THANK GOD), tons of gift cards, a new cake holder which I love and I am using it right now for cookies I baked yesterday, and so cool, my Mom gave us all her change. I guess I had told her were saving all our change for the next 5 years fo we can go on a family vacation to Disneyland and Sea World. So she gave us huge mounds of change. I started putting it away yesterday until I got sore and had to get up. But it was so much fun to see our jar filling up! So if anyone has any change to donate, I am your girl LOL!

OK I Have to go again. I am posting pics of Chelsea from Winter Formal and I will upload Xmas later if I get to it.

That was fast!

2009-01-05T15:14:00.000-08:00

I am so sad that Xmas is over. I mean, I was so ready for the holidays come October 1st and I blinked and it was over. I am incredibly sad. I think the other issue is that there is no other huge holiday between now and November that would prompt a family to get together. So here I sit trying to plan something exciting to look forward to.

Charlie and I watched Grindhouse the other night. If you are an 80's baby you will find this movie entertaining. I think I mentioned before that I used to watch Creature Features, Movie of the Macabre with Elvira, and USA Up all Night. They had all those low budget B movies, that is what Grnindhouse is based on. Funny.

OK so I guess I should talk about my hysterectomy but I kind of don't want to. It's pretty boring and it is over. I will talk about it some other time.

So one of the new neighbor girls came over last night to watch a movie with Chelsea. She is a foster child and before she left she and Chelsea had talked at length about doing more things. I said we would see. Well after she left Chelsea sort of spilled the beans that the girl spent the whole time on the computer chatting with her boyfriend and her ex-boyfriend. She salso said that she wanted to go to the movies and have her boyfriend meet her there. This all makes me very uncomfortable. So I put in a call to my neighbor and I will talk to her about it. I do not know much about foster children but I am pretty sure that seeing boyfriends unattended is not allowed. Ugh.

BRB

Home

2009-01-02T07:24:00.000-08:00

Got home yesterday. Pretty sore but things are well. I am very tired and have no appetite but that is fine with me. It is better than not sleeping and eating all the time.
I will be back when I feel better to give the whole story.
Love to all!

Here we go

2008-12-27T20:00:00.001-08:00

OK so tomorrow I pick up my baby sis and then we are going for facials at Elizabeth Arden. Then out to dinner.
Come Monday, pre-surgery prep which will make me very sick. So I will be in my room all day.
4:30am the next morning, leave for surgery.
I will be in the hospital about 3-4 days.
Mom, Lisa, and Chelsea will take care of my boys.

Right now I am scared to death. I do not want to do this at all. I am terribly upset but it has to be done. I have no choice.

I also found out that I have another double strand mutation on another gene that cannot break down pain meds, cold meds, and some other meds. No wonder I've had so many issues with medications! My gosh!

I am thankful beyond words that my Mom is here and that my sister is coming.

RIP to the two boys that died after that horrid beathing from that man in the park. My thoughts go out to their families. I hope that jerk pays for what he did.

I have a lot more to say. A lot to talk about but my Mom is in the other room and I want to spend time with her.

So love to all!

So much fun!

2008-12-20T20:07:00.001-08:00

The party was awesome! I mean so awesome I told my Mother in Law I was ready to do it again tonight. The kids could not have been better (mine and others). It was all perfect and I was so relaxed. I just hung out and talked. It was so great! I would totally do that again.

Got our Xmas tree today. Got the boys' haircut and took Babar to the vet and groomer. Got lots done today.

Please look at this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_4qwVLqt9Q
Get your tissues out. It is exactly how I feel about my friends and how they have gotten me through all this junk the last year.

Hugs to all! I will post pics tomorrow of Chelsea.

Really quick

2008-12-19T12:27:00.000-08:00

From the National Geographic Desk: Please join Susan and Seija in congratulating Nancy Lockwood on her promotion to Vice President of Technology Design and Development for National Geographic School Publishing Division.
YEA MOM!

Charlie ran something over a few days ago and got 2 flat tires.

Tonight is my Moms Secret Santa party. Been cleaning like mad. I think we have 10 Moms coming tonight. Should be so much fun!

Got a letter from the Town Manager that I have been appointed to serve on the Social Services Advisory Board for Buckeye. Jan. 7th I will take my Oath of Office.

Chelsea has Winter Formal tonight.

Tomorrow, boys haircut, dog vet and dog grooming.

Sunday clean upstairs.

Monday Mom comes in. YEA!!

Mom

2008-12-12T13:45:00.000-08:00

Here is part of the email she sent to the family this morning:

There are 4 weird semi-benign blood diseases one could get that affect the platelets, red blood cells, and white blood cells and I have three of them, possibly four. At least two, possibly three, have morphed into the other thing I have now. This is more serious. There are four markers that say whether or not this new disease I have is mild or not. At this point I don't have any of the markers that aren't manageable with medication (that's good), so I have the mild version. These include an elevated platelet count, elevated red blood cells, etc. However, and this is the bad news, this disease does usually march right on up the chain of seriousness. If I had been told that I had two or more of those markers I would be looking at a lifespan of about 1-3 years. As it is, I'm looking at 10-12 years on average. And that's the kicker: If this thing progresses quickly I could be on the low end of that average and if it progresses slowly I will have a longer life span than that average. If I turns into leukemia there is no treatment. Since none of my symptoms is uncontrollable right now, I don't qualify for an experimental protocol - I would have to be at the Intermediate or High Risk level to qualify. That's good. So the treatment for now is to continue exactly what I'm doing (pills, weekly injection, weekly blood test) except to change one medication (back to one I was taking years ago) to keep my blood levels normal. Then we wait. For the morbidly curious, what will do me in whenever it happens is a massive brain bleed, a heart attack, or infection/pneumonia...those sorts of things.

I do not have much to say today. I do need to make a correction. I said my Uncle Dick was having seizures, it is strokes he is having. Big difference.

Taking this from Danielle's Blog of Friday Fill-In

1. Friends are my strength
2. I appreciate my health; it's precarious at times.
3. I'm ready for my Mom and sister to visit me.
4. Coconut is one of my favorite perfumes or aftershaves or smells.
5. The oldest ornament I have is something Chelsea made in preschool.
6. Take some love, mix it all together and you have family.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to seeing my husband, tomorrow my plans include cooking and cleaning and Sunday, I want to grocery shop!

Lots of medical stuff

2008-12-10T12:58:00.000-08:00

First, I need to send out my deepest sympathies to Chelsea's teacher's aide. Her 22 year old son died yesterday of pneumonia. Very sad.

Second, my deepest sympathies to my Aunt Therese whose mother is not well. Hospice is taking over her care.

Third, my Uncle Dick has been having a lot of small seizures. I really like my Uncle Dick and Aunt Aurora though I never talk to them. They are very nice people so I am sad for them.

My sister got her BRCA genetic testing done yesterday. So I said well, what did the Dr. say? Lisa said she said "S*** Lisa!" then she looked at your genetic test and said "S*** Andrea!" She said she had never seen numbers that high before. Leave it to me to an unprecidented numbers. She will get the results in about 10 days. I sincerely hope and pray she is negative. What a fantastic result that would be. It would put everyones mind at ease. No question!

My Mom goes in tomorrow to see the Dr. at Stanford for her pre-leukemia. I am looking forward to see what he says.

Josh went in this morning for speech eval through the school. Well, yea. They were all very nice but I could hardly understand them. Josh and I were the only English speakers in the room (including the 3 teachers). Then about 15 minutes later two total drug addicts walk in chomping and snapping their gum. I think they were trying to peel the gum off their lip and tongue piercings. They were so amped up on drugs they couldn't shut up or hold still. UGH! I still love Buckeye and it is still heads and shoulders above what Wildomart was. But I think I am going to look into what I can do to get the kids into private school or get out to Verrado.
So they said Josh is too young still. They want me to come back after Feb. That is fine with me. I need to figure something else out anyway. I am not sure how you can be a speech therapist if no one can understand you.
Which reminds me of my Chem class as an undergrad. OK this is funny. My lecture professor was from Germany and my lab instructor was Japan. I could not understand either of them. I ended up dropping both classes because not only did they teach totally differently but they said things totally different from each other and from me. LOL!

Sounds like Thing 1 and Thing 2 are up.
I will try to get on later.

Red Light Cameras Part Deux

2008-12-08T19:50:00.001-08:00

Yes, I got caught by one. But I was going 68-69 in a 65. I didn't think they went off until you were over 70 or something. So bummer on that!
The same day I wrote about the cameras, some guy took a pick ax to one LOL! I just knew someone was going to have a bad day and take it out on the camera. I was just waiting for it to happen. Especially with the economy the way it is and people are so stressed about finances and the holidays. It was just a matter of time.

OK so I applied to be on a few Buckeye committees. I hope they call me. I have to do a background check and all of that jazz. So we will see. The only thing I see that is a potential problem is my surgery at the end of the month. I hope it does not effect me so much that I will not be functional. I would really hate to step down right when I made a committment.

Have a sore throat today. So does Charlie. So it looks like we are re-getting the cold that has gone around the family twice now. Ugh.

OK so I am SO excited, seriously, you may find this lame but I am in love with a tablecloth. It is from England and I found it on Ebay. Well, it was way out of my price range but Charlie's Mom got it for me for Christmas. I have been obsessing over this thing for the last week. I look at it online all the time and I am watching the mail like stalker. I cannot wait to get this beautiful thing on my table! Hey, whatever, it's the little things...so stop laughing.

Did everyone watch the end of Amazing Race? I am so glad they won (don't want to give it away for you Tivoers).

OK not feeling so good so I am signing off though I have a ton to say.
Hugs from afar so I don't spread my vapors.

Red Light Cameras

2008-12-03T18:48:00.000-08:00

No, I didn't get caught by one but we were having a conversation about them at Bunco. So yesterday and today I started paying attention to the people around me driving. It makes me giigle. Think back to the movie Ferris Buellers Day Off. Remember when Principal Rooney ran down the hall and then slowed down at every classrooom window? Well, that is what AZ freeways are currently like. People speed up, slow down, speed up, slow down. It is funny when you put it into context of a corny movie but not funny when you are trying to get somewhere.
So oddly, since I was observing these things around me, today I see one of the mobile radar camera cars go by. First thought was "oh what a job" my second was "oh poor sap" and my third "I wonder how many times he has been given the bird". Then I wondered if he got hazard pay in addition to his regular check. I do believe it is something he could probably request without being laughed at. Can you imagine, "OK today I need you to take the speed camera car to 10 West" Can't you just feel the pit in your own stomach? It is the equalivant to being asked to get up and work a math problem on the board after sleeping in class for the last month.

Saw my counselor today. Liked her ok. I do not feel like she will solve my issues but I am not sure who or what will. My issues are vast, deep, prolonged, and neverending. Lobotomy.

Watched Wall-e Saturday night. Josh stayed up until 10pm watching with us. I was amazed at how nice and quiet he sat through the whole movie. It is very cute, I highly recommend it!

The boys have been very active lately. I am having a hard time keeping up with them. Josh and I like to play the run away from the dog and scream game. Well, now Jake wants to play too but he can't really run so I have to carry him. I get worn out about 15 minutes into the game. Nice to know I am not the only one though. Babar doesn't chase us like he used to. So it's not just me slowing down, it's my puppy too.

Chelsea wants to go the movies again on Saturday to see Twlight with her friend. They seemed to have handled it pretty well last time so I am thinking that we will say yes. But I need to talk to Charlie about it. He gets mad because we always drive and pay and it makes him mad. So I need to see if he is ok with it. We will likely drive and pay again. I am almost insistent on driving just because I don't know who Chelsea would be riding with and I don't trust people most of the time. So I would feel better if I drove. The paying part, well, not much I can say about that. It just always ends up that way. I thought it would be nice to take them to a 3:15 show and then go to dinner after but we will see. Charlie found his favorite WI restaruant out here. It is Butter Burgers. Sounds gross, I agree but he swears by them. I have been hearing about them for 15 years. So it's about time I get to try one. He is super happy they are out here. He is afraid he built them up too much and I won't like them. I am willing to give them a try though.

Ghost Hunters tonight. YEA!
Hugs, love and kisses to all :)

Bunco Night

2008-12-02T13:54:00.000-08:00

OK so last night was Bunco night. I had a blast! Mandy met me at my house and we drove over to Sarahs house. There were 10 people in total playing. So we only had 2 ghosts. Of course, I was right in the middle and didn't win anything but who cares, it is fun money or no money. OK but I did an "Andi" I didn't count of one my games. Thankfully I was no where near a total loss or a big win. No matter what I had down, I was still in the middle.
I am hoping I can make it next month. I will be post-op 12 days so we will see how I am doing.
I am hosting Feb and I already have my neighbor Rae, me, Chelsea, Charlie's Mom, and then whatever PM people come too.

So I am on Lexapro. I am managing the side effects with Xanax which is working out pretty well. I would like to come off the Xanax if I can but the side effects of the Lexapro are pretty bad. So I want to try to work through them as best as I can. I would love to be able to fly again and go places. I am putting a lot of hope and faith into this medication. It would be so great if this was "the one". Kind of like my Bentyl was. After 14 years of pure suffering, one Dr., one pill and wow, within 24 hours I was better. I do not think Lexapro will be that life-changing but I will hope it at least gets me to a semi-normal point and able to handle menopause.

I took the boys for a walk with Babar on Saturday down to Rae's house. The boys and Babar like to look at their cats. They have 4 cats and they are so cute. So we went down there and on the way back, I see a German Shepard out of the corner of my eye coming across the street. I literally said "UH OH" out loud and yelled for Charlie. Well, Charlie was on the top roof hanging lights and could not get down. So this dog goes down to the ground, totally submissive, but starts biting Babar at the feet. So Babar freaks out and I am just standing there because I have the boy's with me. So the owner comes out of his garage (he is a neighbor but I don't know his name) and I yell at him "why isn't your dog on a leash?" He doesn't respond and goes back into the garage. So later he comes over to see if Babar is ok and apologize. I have to give him a lot of credit. That could not have been easy at all. I don't think I would have done it because I would have been too embarrassed. But he manned up and came over. Pretty impressive I thought.

Tonight I am participating in a Foucs Group on potty training pants. LOL! Not for me, for Josh.
Tomorrow I see my counselor for the first time. So we will see how that goes.
Saturday I go to Mayo OPIV to get that test done to see if my liver enzymes can break down this medication I am on now.
Next Wed 10th Josh has a speech eval at the school.
Friday carpet cleaners are coming to try to salvage our poor carpets that are a wreck!
16th Chelsea has a choir performance
17th Dr. Rebecca pre-op appt. & Oncology Appt.
19th Moms Xmas party at my house
20th Babar to the Vet and then groomer
22nd Boys haircut Mom comes in
23rd 9 am Dr. appt for pre-op gyn lasts until 4pm
24th 2 more Dr. appts.

And Xmas I may get to rest, maybe.
Here is my Moms Christmas present:

Happy Thanksgiving

2008-11-27T10:00:00.000-08:00

Boy do I have a lot to be thankful for this year.
1. My children are happy, healthy, so so smart, and oh my gosh cute beyond words.
2. My husband.
3. My Mom and sister.
4. MIL.
5. Wonderful friends and the best neighbors.
6. My husband is employed and we have the best health insurance.
7. The wonderful years of companionship Kiwi gave us, we miss you Kiwi!
8. I am alive.
9. Living in Buckeye.
10. Dr. Rebecca, Dr. Gray, Dr. Suedekam, Dr. Bright, Lindsey and Kristin & everyone at the Mayo Clinic and hospital.
11. Xanax
12. Our new president and with him, new hope.

HOA Meeting tonight

2008-11-25T17:20:00.000-08:00

Should be short and sweet. I don't think we have much to address except the budget. So we should be in and out rather quickly. Got a call yesterday from my Derm. I wasn't here so she left a message. She told me I would get a letter in 2 weeks if it was neg. Well, when I went to see Dr. Karlin she told me it was neg. so I wasn't worried. Well, until yesterday when that I got that message. So I worried most of the night that I had cancer once again. But I called first thing this morning and it was benign. Yea! Yesterday I went and saw my new psychiatrist. When we over what happened to me when I was on the Fareston and all that jazz. So we are going to try Lexapro to see if it will counteract the menopause I will experience when I have my hysterectomy. We will see. I def. need to write way more on my psych. experience. It is pretty funny. But as a teaser, I met Dr. Hot! A cross between Brad Pitt and Samantha's boyfriend from Sex and the City. HOLY COW! It was downright embarrassing. He had to ask me some very personal questions and he was so cute. I kept wanting the frumpy old short bald guy to come in. OK so more on that later. I gotta get the kids to bed so I can scurry over to the meeting :) OH and Randy got a new German Shepard pup today. OK I really have to go. So much to say, what's new. I am such a blabber mouth.

OK back from the HOA meeting. Charlie is still there because they have executive session after the regular meeting. I think it went well overall. I am not overly thrilled with one board member. I find him to be very pompous and condescending towards me but that is his nature. I am hoping beyond all hope that he does not run next year. The rest of the board is great though and they seem to get a lot accomplished. The board would not do as well as it has without the president though. I wish the community knew exactly what the board does. I feel like they are all so complacent. Heck, it sounds like some of them are not paying their assessments anyway. What can I expect, it is still better than Wildomar by leaps and bounds. I sat with our Vice Mayor again. She seems very pleasant and it really gets me interested in sitting in on a town council and not just my community. So that will be something I will be thinking about after I am done with my next surgery.

I am baking pies and such tomorrow. I will try to get on and talk about Dr. Hot and Randy’s new little puppy. I don’t think he is going to be a police puppy like Hugo was (R.I.P. Officer Hugo) but he is from police dog breeding. I am supposed to get a picture but it never came through on my phone.Oh I have such puppy fever right now too. I’ve been looking at blue Dane puppies again. Somebody stop me! LOL!

Why I got home at 1am Saturday and no it was not a hot date

2008-11-23T17:51:00.000-08:00

So Chelsea went to this school function for choir. She was so excited! She dressed really nice and at 6pm I took her to school. As I was walking out, I hear "Mom, Mom". I turned around and Chelsea has asked if we could take her friend home. I said, "of course" So her friend got really excited and started huggng Chelsea and jumping up and down. I thought "Wow, she must have to walk home pretty far, she sure is happy".
Well, they were supposed to be back at 10pm so I drove to the school and waited about 30 minutes. It was very eerie and no one was around. Then this guy pulled up to me and said that they had not even left Scottsdale yet that it would likely be another hour.
Ugh!
So I go back at 11 and they are there. They had just gotten there. So the girls get in. I ask Chelsea friends for her address so I can put it into the navigation unit. She said she doesn't know her address. I am thinking "oh great. I do not have ESP here". So she gives me her cross streets and said she can get there using back roads. So I put the cross streets in the nav unit and I go on my way. I didn't even give it a second thought until we started driving out West. I said "Where do you live?" She says Tonopah which is about 20 miles out. I thought that was a little strange because she goes to Buckeye High and not Tonopah High. I asked her why and she gave me an answer that I never did understand. She made no sense at all.
So we are driving, driving, driving, and I look at my navigation unit which tells me that we will arrive in 1 hour. 1 HOUR?!?!?! Yes, she lives 35.1 miles away in the middle of nowhere in Wintersburg NOT Tonopah on a dirt road with only one other house within a 25 mile radius. I am NOT joking.
The whole time there is a know-it-all braggert and very condesending to Chelsea. Saying "ummm no sweet heart that is not a church" etc. So there we are in the middle of the desert and I miss the one exit to go onto another road that goes behind the mountain and she starts snickering. She turns her head and snickers into her hand. I said "Did I miss the exit?" and she continues to laugh and says yes. So I turn around and get on the right road and now I am just mad. This girl was incredibly rude and kept complaining about how annoying my navigation unit was. UGGGGH!
So I asked her why her parents did not pick her up. She says because they cannot afford that gas. So I asked her how she had planned to get home if I couldn't have driven her. She said she would have found a ride. I know, weird huh? So I said did you ever go home at all today? She said no that she gets picked up at 6:30 in the morning and she had been at school ever since. Call me overprotective but no way in heck would I allow my children to hang around school all day long. Nor would I allow them to just find any ole ride all the way to the middle of nowhere. SO weird! I should have known when she said that he real Dad is 5'2 with his combat boots on and her stepdad enjoys shooting jack rabbits "though them is some fast critters, Daddy can still shoot em". Yea. OK.
So Chelsea and I roll in at 1:10am finally. I pour myself into bed and at 7am on the nose my children are awake and ready to go.
So that's my Friday night saga.
So today I am thankful for a 3 day week where I will get to see my husband for 4 days in a row :) YEA! It's like Friday all over again come Wed. YEA!

Things that Jumped the Shark for 2009

2008-11-22T13:21:00.000-08:00

OK so I have been thinking about things that are just SO out and need to be bring it to peoples' attention.
Oh, Jump the Shark...yes, if you are too young, I will explain. When Happy Days (A popular TV show in the 80's) was on, it went on a little too long. The last scene was The Fonz jumping a shark in water ski's. Anyway, there is a whole website called jumpedtheshark.com
OK So now you understand.
Things that have Jumped the Shark for 2009 (subject to change as I think of them)

1. Men with earrings. Especially those over 35, under 16, Dads and Grandads. It just does nothing for your appearance except put you into a category immediately.

2. Bumper Stickers. The angel stripper on one side the devil stripper on the other, SKIN, the little boy peeing on something, and NOTW.

3. Fake testicles hanging from the back of trucks/cars.

4. Tattoos. In your attempt to be unique, you are just like the majority. LOL! Funny how that happened isn't it?

5. Bush, as in President Bush.

6. Lifted trucks driving like sports cars. Your truck is lifted to go 4x4ing not race and take corners stupid.

7. Motorcycles with no mufflers that feel the need to rev and be annoying. Thankfully I do not see this much here. But in Wildomart, all the time, constantly. Ugh. Get over yourself, again, trying to be unique and cool, you are just like everyone else.

8. "Everybody gets a ribbon" No, they don't. There are winners and there are losers. Not everyone is a winner every time. You need to learn and teach your children how to lose with class and grace.

9. Having to push something to hear it in English. Yes, I am that lazy. I want to just pick up the phone and dial without having to have a forethought as to what I need to do first before getting to whatever it is I need to do.

10. Getting older, it sucks.

11. Bad English. It's is LOSE people as in you LOSE weight NOT loose. UGH!

12. Little boys with hair that have tails. What is with that? Is there a meaning behind it?

My list will continue because I am old and crabby and I have a lot to bark about LOL!

Reminder for myself: talk about why you got home at 1am last night. Unbelieveable really.

Quiet Friday

2008-11-21T19:48:00.000-08:00

Well, first, Happy Friday! You all know how much I love Fridays. A Fall Friday is pure heaven to me.
I took the boy's to the park again today. It was nice. There were not a lot of children there today. Or at least none that Josh was terribly interested in playing with. Jake just sort of loafed around. He thinks it is funny to be up with the big kids and watch them run around. He likes for me to pick him up and carry him. Or put him on the slide and hold his hand as he goes down. He still falls backwards on the slide as he goes down. He hasn't learned how to sit up straight and go down yet. Well, sort of like that video down below of Josh starting off sitting up and ended eating wood chips. Poor baby!
I do not mind holding Jake. Though I hope at some point he finds interest in climbing and playing. He eats so much and I want him to be active too. Though I do love that he is a Mommy's boy! He is my little pork chop!

So just someone please tell me that the economy is going to get better. It just seems to get worse and worse. I mean, really, what is it going to take? When is it going to stop falling? It's crazy and it is starting to really get to me.

Our babysitter Nichole has her number back up and working which is SO great! Now I can get a hold of her when we want to go out. Chelsea said she was so good with the kids and there were a lot of them here. Poor thing! She even cleaned the house for me too which was very sweet. So I am really happy we have a way to get a hold of her now :)

Monday Cynthia is taking the children so I can go to the psychiatrist. I am hoping they put me on something magicial to get me through the hormone crisis I am about to experience. Thus far, from the taste I got of it, I hope these antidepressants really work! I know they can lessen the hotflashes but I also hope they even out the hormone flucuation because holy cow. So send me lots of good wishes on Monday!

So we have some new neighbors down the street and they sit out every night. We used to sit out every night but now, not so much. When it is nice out we do. But sometimes the kids are just too tired or Charlie comes home too late or whatever. So we can't sit out. I plan on going down there to say hello someday. I want to at least introduce ourselves since we are on the HOA board and stuff.

Chelsea is at a choir performance at another high school tonight. So I have to pick her up around 10. I guess her friend didn't have a ride home so she asked Chelsea to ask me if I could take her home. Of course I would. My gosh. No way would I leave a child at school to fend for herself at 10pm at night.

We actually had a customer on thewallaby.com She wanted to buy one for her friend. Sadly our prototype is coming along very slowly. But when it's done, it will be fantastic! I am just happy someone is interested!

OK signing off for the night.
Happy Friday to all :)

Clicking

2008-11-19T10:12:00.000-08:00

So I just called my sister to talk to her. She has this security clearance because of what she does. I believe it is Top Secret or maybe the level below it. Anyway, it is very strange how her phone clicks before it connects. It makes me giggle because we do not talk about anything that important that need to tap her. But I guess maybe for the nation's security they tap a lot of people. I will be sure tell her next time she calls. HA!

Speaking of clicking, over there to the right of this blog are Google Ads. If you click them, it helps me. So click away please :)

I storked a mom this last weekend, I think I already mentioned it but she wrote me yesterday asking for my recipes. Isn't that sweet? I have this really bad complex about my cooking. My Granny's was the best and so I am constantly comparing myself. There is no comparasion, she was the best. So when someone compliments my food, I am through the roof with happiness. Chelsea's friend at school came over a few weeks ago. I think we had Pizza or something when she was here because she asked Chelsea if I made my ranch dressing again yet. I guess she really liked it. -smile- Then Charlie just called and said they are having a potluck and I asked if he was going to go down and eat some. He said "it's other peoples cooking". So I am taking that to mean he likes mine? -smile again- I am determined to have a list of things I make that people like at some point in my life. I want my boys to love my cooking the way I loved my Granny's. I have to channel my inner-Zoila and get good at cooking here very soon.
BRB Josh is thirsty.
OK so I don't want cooking classes. I just do not feel they will help me. It is just something you know or do well. I think it is time, practice, and a good imagination. So I will continue to work at getting good at cooking and see where it takes me.

OK so what is up with the Big 3 Auto Industry people? They fly to DC in a privatejet and ask for a handout? Are you kidding me? I am glad congress said no. But let me continue that thought before you gasp. Yes, there is needs to be some type of bailout for the workers and for the trickle effect but first it is quite clear to me that the CEO's need to go! It is so painfully obvious that they have lived in this overly weatlhy fishbowl for quite too long. I mean for them to even CONSIDER a private jet to ask for money is NUTS! NUTS I say, crazy and insane. They obviously do not have the brains, even together the 3 of them, to stop and think about their spending habits. Oh my gosh, I am flabbergasted by the whole darned thing.

Ghost Hunters International starts tonight. Ugh aka Geek Squad. I love the US guys so much better. The GHI guys are so weasely. There is one guy, cannot recall his name at the moment but if you know the show, you know who I am talking about, who reminds me of the squirrel from Ice Age. Was that a squirrel? You know the thing in the beginning trying to get the acorn. Ha! Eww. He is so fruity!

We finally named our new clown fish. Mango! I was sitting and staring at him and he is orange so I named him Mango. Now if only we have a Kiwi.... :( I miss her old butt.

I have to talk about The View. I used to watch The View and then Star Jones started to drive me crazy and I stopped taping. Then they had Rosie on and I love her. She makes me laugh and when her and Elisabeth would go at it, it was very enlightening. Then they brough on Whoopi. I like her as a person but not as a host. She is not funny at all. I am hoping they change moderators soon.

OK going to go play Diner Dash- Flo on the Go LOL! Hey, whatever, I grew up and PacMan was THE game of the century. So little things impress me.

Please just SLOW down!

2008-11-18T07:16:00.000-08:00

I love Fall so much and I cannot tell you how sad I am that we are almost at Thanksgiving already. I love the holidays, family, fun, cooler weather, the smells of the holidays. I am so sad and I am screaming SLOW DOWN! It is all going far too fast and I feel like I am not taking in every moment and I really need to do that. It is one thing I tend not to do on a frequesnt basis. So I need to slow down myself too.

Oh boy do I have a gripe beyond all gripes! OK so Josh has been getting evaluated by speech therapy via the state program. Well, it is a birth to 3 program and Josh is already 30 months. So he only has a few months left. It looks like he will qualify based on speech. Just a sidenote, he is operating at a 4 year old level (very smart) he just doesn't talk. SO the therapist told us to go ahead and call the school district and talk to them about getting Josh in to be evaluated. So I call and oh my gosh. The person that answered the phone and took the appointment barely spoke English herself. I kept having to ask her to repeat things and spell them out. She wasn't even saying English words correctly. I was so angry. I am going through with the appointment because I am going to hope it is not her that is teaching. I am really hoping she only took down the appointment and that the actual therapist is an English speaker.
Grr!

OK so I think I am just blind or something. Prop 102 and Californias Prop 8. What am I missing here? Redefining marriage. What does that mean? How would it effect me and my marriage? There is seems to be so much No on 102 and No on 8 and I think I am missing the point. With all the literature material and commericals you would think I would have gotten "it" but I didn't and I don't. What do I care if gay people get married? How would it hurt me or my children? I am so totally lost on this issue.
I am very angry with Arkansas passing the prop that states gays cannot adopt. Why not? Have they been proven to be unfit parents? I am certainly in no position to adopt some of these children, especially the special needs ones, but if someone loving, financially and mentally stable can, why not???? Shoot I would rather them adopt them than some of these jerks that have children naturally. People who hurt their children, teens not able to support them, girls that leave them in trashcans, seriously, AK are you backwards or what? Each of those people that voted on that ban, I have to wonder, are YOU willing to take in some of those unwanted children you just put into the an already overloaded social system? Since you do not want a gay person to have them then are you saying YOU will take in and love and provide for those children now? Selfish and disgusting. AK get your head out already.

Hellboy 2, excellent! I loved Hellboy 1 and 2 was even better.
Oh, GTG Jake is calling me. BBL.

So anyway, I just took the kids to the park. That was nice. It was quiet and cool and I talkedwith a few very nice moms. The kids had fun! I brought them home, fed them lunch and put them down for a nap.

I know naps are supposed to be for children but I really think they are for moms. Taking naps or giving naps, either way, good for moms.

So thehouse is all peaceful right now.
I made some Rice Crispy Treats. As I was pouring the box out, the toy fell out. I didn't realize any company still did toys. It was a cool Snap, Crackle, and Pop Pedometer. I know you are supposed to take 10,000 steps a day or something like that. So I put it on. Here is the best part, because I have a little extra jiggle in my walk, it counts as two steps sometimes! Oh yea baby, being fat paying off once again! I got new boobs from my fat and now extra exercise too, how can you beat that? I did "125" steps in about an hour. Some of that was cooking my lunch and going up for seconds on the Rice Crispy Treats. I know, shameful. I will pay for it someday soon, I know that. No need to lecture me.

On the moms board the question was asked "what are you thankful for" I said Xanax. Everyone said their health and family...I figure that is a given. I am SO incredibly thankful. First, I found the perfect husband. That in itself, incredible. He is wonderful to me and a wonderful father. Second, I was able to have Josh. What a miracle. Then to have Jake? WOW! What an incredible surprise and gift. I am SO lucky! And to have found and survived (so far) cancer. My Mom has gotten in with the Standford Dr. which is awesome. My sister is seeing a breast specialist on the 5th and I am happy about that. Because of my BRCA2+ status my Uncles are now receiving closer monitoring on their health and I am so thankful for that. My husband is well-employed, my children and so happy and healthy, and my Xanax gets me through the toughest of times. I am thankful to my Xanax for getting me to sleep every night. I am thankful it is there to get me through what is about to be a very tough menopause which will keep me alive longer. I will no longer be able to have children, I will go through some tough mood swings and probably a lot of depression and hopefully my Xanax will get me through it all. I would like to live to see my children grow up and if that means no more girl parts, than I guess thats what it is. I am thankful for Xanax :)

Too busy for words

2008-11-13T09:08:00.000-08:00

I scheduled myself far too much this week. Everything is suffering as a result. I even double booked myself yesterday and forgot I had an appointment. Luckily it was tentative so she did not show up. She called and said "Iknow things were in the air, so if I don't hear from you, I will cancel". Which worked out perfect because I could not call her back at all. Her phone was blocked.

Yesterday I went to the Oncologist finally. OK can I just say, what a jerk. She was incredibly condesending, rude, short, sarcastic, and I will not be going back to her. I am going to look into other options. I will tell you one thing that will put it into perspective. I had spoken with my Genetic Counselor about my BRCA 2+ status. Frankly, I had no one else to ask. My Oncolosist. Dr. Karlin broke her foot and left for about 3 months. So all I had was this really dumb PA that I did not like and I wasn't about to ask her. When I called the PA (the only go-to person I had)saying that the Fareston was raising my blood pressure so high my eyesight was effected her advice was "keep taking it, it will go away". I thought that was pretty irresponsible. Yea, so no way was I going to ask her. So I called my Genetic Counselor and asked about my risk for Ovarian cancer. She said 40% and I said that is too high for me and I guess I have to have the hysterectomy. I was telling her that I really did not want to do it because of the shock to the body. She told me there was new study just out that said that even if your cancer is progesterone or estrogen positive that it is ok to have some estrogen put back in to ease your symptoms. Well, that made my day! I am progesterone AND estrogen positive in my cancer receptors. SO yesterday, I meet with jackass and I ask her if I can have estrogen and her response was "Are you joking? You are like a fire and that would be like pouring gasoline on a fire"
So let me explain why she is being rude to me. I called the Patient Advocate and told her I was not happy with my oncology care. So she called and made an appointment on my behlaf to actually see Dr. Karlin because I had all these questions that the PA did not feel comfortable answering. So I had a list of questions written down and she was short and rude and towards the end she kept saying "Anything else? Can I answer anymore questions? Do you need anything else from me?" I know it sounds nice as I am typing it but it was very snotty and I was not happy. Compared to Dr. Gray and Dr. Rebecca, Lindsey the PA and Kristen the other PA, I am shocked that Dr. Karlin is such a jerk.
So that was my experience yesterday.
OH and that spot on my backside is not cancer. YEA!

Day before yesterday I went to a Focus Group for Cancer Centers of America. They are running some ads and they wanted cancer patients' opinions. It was nice. I met one other DIEP reconstruction lady that went to Mayo just for the DIEP and then left because she didn't like the Dr.'s. And then these other 3 all went to this one place. One of them gave me a card and all 3 told me I have to go here. So I am thinking about calling today. I really do not want to go back to Dr. Karlin ever again.

Today Jake has a Dr. appt. He has eczema so bad and he is also pigeon toed (I was too as a child). So I want Dr. Suedekam to take a look and see what she thinks of everything.

Monday Josh's education evaluator is coming to take a listen to his speech and then we will be on the road to a plan.

This last Monday the speech therapist came over to evaulate Josh. He was charming as ever. Flirting, doing everything he was asked, hugged her a few times. You know Josh, he likes everyone like his Daddy does.

So now that both children sort of walk around and eat every morning I wake up and go downstairs, Babar has left a gift. I call them Snack Skeletons and I have at least one a day. Last night I was sitting in bed and looked into Babar kennel and there was an old Wendy's french fry holder. This morning, an empty bowl of cereal. It is always something. He is going to totally give himself bloat one day.
Whenever Babar eats something that gives him a tummy ache he lays upside down in his kennel. He is in his kennel because he puts himself in time out before we even tell him. So this is typically how you will find him after leaving a few Snack Skeletons around.

Tomorrow Charlie is taking my car because it is making funny noises. So I will be stuck in the house all day.

Saturday I am storking a Mom who just had her baby boy Russel this week. He is beautiful and I am so excited for her! So I am doing a dinner for her Saturday and Sunday.

Tonight I want to go grocery shopping after the boys are in bed. I just do know want to shop with the boys with us. It is too stressful!

I think I have talked about my neighbor Rae whom I adore! Well, her foster child Asley is moving out oh, well, she is already gone. She came over last night and let us know the judge signed the order for her to go to a group home this morning at 9am. It is a "transition" place for her. She will learn job and money skills for 6 months and then she is on her own. I am sad to see her go. She is a very nice girl. She has had a very rough life and I am sorry for her. When she was 10 her father died right in front of her from a heart attack. Her mom is in Missouri and either doesn't want her or can't have her. I am not sure which. So she is on her own, poor thing. We gave her a card and a $50 gift card to use for emergencies if she ever has any. We gave her all our information if ever she is in trouble. I really do hope the best for her. When I went to Rae's last night it was clear she had been crying. It must be very hard for her to part with these children that you form bonds with. I always thought I could do it but even the small attachment I grew to Ashley breaks my heart. She is a human being too and though she is rough around the edges, she has a heart of gold. I myself am very saddened to see her go. I cannot imagine what Rae is going though. We hope to hear from Ashley so that we know she is ok.

Rae came over about a week ago asking for a favor. I am always willing to do about anything for anyone, so I was excited at the prospect. She asked if I could take one of her cats. Oh man. That's a tough one. Last night I had to tell her I couldn't. We just are not over Kiwi yet. I still miss her in a weird way. I still have not picked up her bed in my closet. I am just not ready for a cat yet. I feel bad because this cat is being chased by the bloodhound puppy and the other cats are being mean to her. It is taking every ounce of my being not to go and get her. I really hope they find a nice home for her. She is totally cute! So hey, ya, if you are reading this and want a cat....she is a cutie pie! She's a tabby with white paws, short haired, totally potty trained and very cute.

I've been playing Diner Dash Flo on the Go lately. I am addicted! So I got stuck on this one level. Level 6 actually. So I went onto the boards to see what I was doing wrong and people were posting that they were stuck on like Level 36! Well, I was way too emabrrassed to post that I was stuck on Level 6. Oh my gosh! So I shut the site down and I have been determined to try to get higher in the game before embarrassing myself on the boards. HA!

Touch free bathrooms. I love them. But have you noticed that some bathrooms are only partially touch-free? So for instance the toliet auto flushes but the handles on the sink you have to turn on. Or the toliet and the water are automatic but then you have to push the thing down for a towel. So if you only have a partially touch-free bathroom what is the purpose? Do the germs simply fall off between the toliet stall and the sink? What about the doors. Ick! I always opened them with a paper towel. It makes so sense to me to spend the money and have a totally touch free bathroom and then you have to go and open the door. You know there are people that don't wash their hands and then they go and open the door. That has to be THE dirtest place in the bathroom and yet so very rarely are there no doors or automatic doors.
At the Mayo they have hand sanitizer right outside the door which is so great. So I wash, open the door with a paper towel, then I sanitize too.

Last night Charlie and I passed by the Jehovah's Witness ..is it called a temple? I don't know. The Jehovah's Witness place (now on JW). So here is what I don't get. What do they believe? Why are they there all day long all weekend long and then some evenings too? I know they recruit like crazy and the women can't wear pants. That is ALL I know. I have always prided myself on having a little knowledge on a lot of things. Sadly I do not have a lot of knowledge on a few things. But JW I know so little. It bothers me. I guess I could do some research. Then I will just add to my little knowledge on another thing. Someday I need to hunker down and get really well-educated on one particular thing. I thought it was going to be Law School but well, that isn't going to happen. So I need to find something else. Maybe penguins. Ha! Who knows.

Bern came home! Yea! So she called me and made me feel better. I feel that she and I are similar and she did not seem to have any problems post surgery. So I am keeping her as my goal. She seems to have gotten right through everything with no problems. I hope I can be as lucky. She said she had a good time in Coventry (her home in England). She actually got a direct flight from Las Vegas to Gatwick. I thought that was impressive! It was a 10 hour flight though. I am so envious. I wish I could get on a plane for 2 hours without freaking out. I am currently working on that. I am going to a Psychiatrist to see if we can work on my claustrophobia issues. I am excited because I want to go to Hawaii with the boys when they are older. Or go see my sister or Charlie's family. There are so many things I want to do but can't. So maybe this Psychiatrist can help me overcome my fear of being trapped. It's so dumb and I hate it.

Date Night

2008-11-09T14:55:00.001-08:00

Can you believe it? We did it! Charlie and I went out on a date! Our babysitter had lost her cell phone and her home number got disconnected (long story) so that is why I could not reach her. But our dear neighbor down the street Rae had offered to come and sit with the kids. So I had a back up plan all in place. In fact, I was talking with Rae on the phone when Nichole pulled up. I was shocked to see her but also very glad! I didn't want to put Rae out she already does so much for us.
So off we went. We even got to have dinner. We went to Ah-So which is Japanese food and it was excellent! I got shrimp and veggies with fried rice. Charlie got yakisoba. We were in and out in about 45 minutes which was perfect. We went downtown Phoenix, got valet parking and went into Dodge Theatre to see Kathy Griffin live. She came out aboout 10-15 minutes late but she made us laugh for 2.5 hours. Charlie got us 2nd rown tickets so she was right there in front of us. It was awesome! She was so funny and I actually want to go see her again next time she comes into town.
Sadly, for whatever reason, I was in panic mode all night. I could not get it to stop and by the end I was dizzy anf flat worn out. So that was a bummer but I did laugh, a lot.

Yesterday we didn't do much. Kind of lazed around. Chelsea had a birthday party to go to at Peter Piper Pizza which is a pizza place with games. So at 11:30 I took Chelsea to Wal-Mart to get a gift card and a teddy bear. I guess her friend likes stuffed animals or something. I took Josh with us and he ended up walking out with a new ball. It was really nice because we went in through the garden section. It was nice and cool and all the Christmas stuff was out. It smelled really nice. So we went in got our stuff, went back into garden and checked out. It was like we were the only ones in the store.
I gave Chelsea my cell phone to call me. 3 hours later, she did. She was there with her boyfriend Joseph. So that brought up a few questions. I guess they went to play games, turned around and everyone had left without saying goodbye. Chelsea doesn't lie so I believed her. Well, she has lied and it lasted about 3 minutes. For whatever reason, she just is not deceptive like that. Like I was at her age LOL! So we went to go get her and her boyfriend couldn't get a hold of his Aunt. So we ended up taking him home. Then we went to Petco and looked at animals and got some dog food. That night we watched Indiana Jones. It was cute.
Today, again, not much of anything. We went to the fish store and got a new clown fish. We haven't named him yet but he is little and cute.

This morning on the way to breakfast I noticed a dead dog on the side of the road on Watson. I thought it was strange. There have been a lot of dead dogs over there. Well, later we went by it again and this time Charlie saw it. It was a Pitbull with a chain wrapped around its muzzle. Clearly killed and dumped. Either it wasn't breeding or fighting well enough. I am sad people like this dogs owner even had the dog. Not that I am sad that this place is down one more Pit, it thrills me, but I think it is sad for any animal to be just totally disregarded like that. As if they asked to be not good enough to love. Sick. I do not like Pitbulls and I like their owners even less. I wish they would outlaw them here like they have in so many other places.

Was going to make hamburgers for dinner but not sure if I will yet.

Moles

2008-11-06T13:18:00.000-08:00

Thankfully I have very few moles/freckles. But I had a few of concern to me. So I went to Mayo to see a Dermatologist. So really quick, yes, I had 4 of concern. 3 they took photos of to compare in 6 months one got removed. Off course it was off my rear end. Embarrassing. I will get the results in about 2 weeks.

No word on Stanford for Mom yet. Please keep her in your thoughts.

WOW OK I intereviewed a babysitter quite some time ago. I've been keeping on contact with her to make sure things are ok. 4 days I wrote her and never heard back. I knew that was a bad sign. So here I am the night before our big night out, the babysitter has not written me back and all of her phone numbers have been disconnected. Typical of my luck. I am surround by FLAKES! So my neighbor down the street, bless her, has offered to come sit and then she will have her older foster child and Chelsea sit when she gets home from her training thing. I am so angry I am seeing red. Charlie paid for tickets that are non-refundable and it was the first night out together in years. I knew it. I have come to the conclusion that people are more flakes than not. I think if I stick with that knowledge, I will be far less disappointed in people. It just still irks me. The ripple effect, remember how I was talking about that on Monday? So now we cannot go to dinner because we need to stay until the boys are sleeping because I do not want to strap Rae with children that are awake. So we will leave last minute, rush down there, and rush back so we aren't too late. I am not happy. Our big date night and it just took one person to completely blow it for us. Really nice. I nor Charlie would ever do that to anyone. Where are the people like us in the world?

OK

2008-11-05T07:23:00.000-08:00

My Moms test was not good. I cannot talk about it.

WOW did America speak and speak loud or what?
How did we go from a complete boob that cannot put a sentence together to someone who gave one of the most beautiful speeches I have ever heard?
Wow are we one confused nation. I hope people see now what a real president should be like and sound like. Even if he turns out to be horrible, his speaking skills are amazing and it sure puts a lot of faith into him.
Now lets hope he takes our vote and does right by us and we do right by him as well. He has called all of us out to help him help us. So I hope that wakes people up that need to volunteer in their communities and do what it takes to make this a better place for our children. He has clearly stated he cannot do this without our help. Message heard loud and clear and I hope people are far less apathetic and get up do something for themselves. Our government cannot fix everything but they sure can break a lot. I sat and wondered if Obama was ticked at Bush for the mess he put us into. I wondered when he got that phone call if he was thinking "ya, thanks a lot. Now I have to fix your 8 years of mess". So though Obama was not my first pick (Hillary was), I am willing to give him time to fix things. It will not be easy. Every institution in this country is broken. He needs to do some triage and take whats worse, first and then work on everything else. When Arnold got voted in, the same thing. CA. was such a huge mess but he got in there and took thing by thing and fixed it. In fact he is still working on things. So I expect the same result from Obama. It will take time and I just know people will use that and say "See, he cannot do it. He was not ready." I would like to see any of you get up there and try to fix this very broken country. Put yourselves in his shoes. That's what I thought.......if you think you can do better, than do it. Volunteer, run for office, donate time or money, do your part.

Do you ever turn on your disposal and just pray nothing is in it? So you're running the water and it gets a bit filled so you need to run your disposal. Isn't it always a hope and pray situation?
First, you don't want to ruin any silverware. It is so hard to throw it way even when it is chopped up. Have you ever eaten off a chopped up spoon though? May as well be glass you are eating off of. Or even worse, it isn't silverware, it is something like a small nut for a toy that you now have to dig around and find in the disposal. I once had a battery go down and get chopped up. That was fun. I was so afraid of getting battery acid on my hands! Then I have this fear my disposal will take on a life of its own and turn itself on while my hand is in there. That's from watching too many horror movies LOL!

Happy Votiing Day!

2008-11-04T10:23:00.000-08:00

I am so excited that today will be the first day of new hope. I do not care who gets elected, I am just happy Bush will be out and we can all move on.
Yes, we voted, we voted Obama. I would rather had Hillary because just have a Clinton of any type would have been good but that was not a choice. So I am settled with my decision and I am so happy that maybe we can all start to get back on track come January. I love elections. I will be glued to my TV all night.

Bunco was nice. Only 3 people showed up which was a little upsetting. I have talked about flaking before so you know where I stand on that. I think what was most upsetting was that I bought and made so much food because I was expecting so many people. So I used our grocery money and purchased things I would never had usually purchased. We are still able to use some of it so that is good but some I threw away. Thankfully people did eat so I able to use some of it that way. The other upsetting thing was that I kept Chelsea home from her choir performance so she could babysit for any Mom who may have had to bring a child. We will still pay her what we promised her because she sat here and waited. She hasn't said anything about it yet but I am sure I will get the questions today as to why she didn't have anyone to watch. People really just do not understand what ripple effect being a flake has. It really pisses me off but I am also not surprised. So whatever. Next time I will only make food for 4 LOL!
So far, no one has signed up for December. I do not think I will be doing that Janurary one because of my surgery. I did sign up for February so my Mother in Law could play too.

So I restarted my hormone suppression again today. I am trying so hard to do it because I know that my body is going to be completely shocked when they take everything out. I really do not like these pills. They make me feel dizzy, faint, shakey, short of breath, and nervous as a result of all of it. I took a 1/4 today. I am going to keep trying. I have been off the last 3 days and its been great. I still have the dizziness most of the time and the hotflashes even off the pills, but off of them I have a general overall better feeling.
I go to the dermatologist on Thursday. Christy from the Phoenix Moms board has ispired me to check out my skin. So just for peace of mind I am going in and having them look over my skin.

Mom had her bone marrow test on Friday. Mom had so much chemo that is has given her some blood disorders that are hard to manage. So she has to get a Procrit shot once a week to keep her hemoglobin up. Well, they saw that her white cell count is starting to creep up a little which is a sign of leukemia. So holding out hope that it is nothing. I figure we will hear something in about 7-10 days or so.

Not having a good day today. Pretty emotional. Kids are being awful. Migrane and back on hormones. Ick. I hope my day gets better. I would love to just go to bed and be a blob.

Moms Bunko Night Tonight

2008-11-03T09:48:00.000-08:00

I can't believe I am sitting here typing with all the things I have to do. What am I thinking? I am hosting Moms Bunko Night tonight so I am trying to get things in order around here. HA! I hope no one expects perfection. The kids are being horrible and I have a million things to do.

I just finished baking my orange scones. I am getting ready to make clotted cream to go with them. My plates, napkins, forks, spoons, and knives are out and ready. My eggs are ready to be deviled LOL! I am not liking my fruit dip at all. So I am working on that. It doesn't matter because I will have dark chocolate fondue to go with the fruit in case the fruit dip doesn't work out.
Can't believe it is November. I just love Fall and I feel like it is going way too fast.
OK I will be back later when I take another break :)

OK real quick...the definition of "uh-oh" ...a missing Sharpie with evidence of toddler scribble on a paper close by where it was.

I also just got an email from my sister with photos of my brother in law, Randy,( he is a captain at the Orange County Sheriff Dept.), as a mounted police officer. I have never seen him on a horse before. I know he joined SWAT early on, then
K-9 with Hugo (they just put Hugo down a month ago, so sad), then he did the motorcycle cop thing, then my sister and Randy bought this draft horse, Louie so Randy could be on horseback. It's cute. I would have never imagined him on a horse.

I think good music and good singers should give you chills and make you tear up. If you noticed on my music thing to the right, I have Paul Potts. He was the winner on UK's Got Talent. I am not into those talent shows but someone sent this to me knowing I love opera. I now love opera by Paul Potts. So see his video here: http://www.flixxy.com/voice-talent-opera-singer.htm

Hallowen Pictures and videos

2008-11-01T17:44:00.000-07:00

Have lots to do tonight still. Lots to do tomorrow. So I will just quickly post videos and pics.

It was an awesome Halloween. Nice to see all my neighbors and best of all, I got to hold Zoilas newborn. I was in heaven. I need to trick or treat more often because that was the best treat I've had in a long time and it was very nice of her to let me do that. I just love the smell and feel of a newborn. So sweet. The Mother instantly comes out to hold and protect. Gotta love instincts!

It is so quiet, I am going to post while I can. I am tired but I have things to say.
So pitbulls. I keep seeing these little pitbull puppies for sale everywhere. People are on the sides of the roads selling puppies. How that is not equal to a puppy mill I don't know. It seems like it is a cheap easy way for people to make a buck lately. But the great thing is that Maricopa County has now outlawed selling puppies on the sides of streets. What can I say, I love this place! I just remember how horrendous Wildomar was. Bern was my saving grace and when she left, I was ready to run away as fast as I could. But Josh was on his way and we were stuck. There is a reason for everything and he is healthy and happy and we did sell our house and got away from that horrible neighborhood.
I appreciate Buckeye so much and I am always curious as to when someone says they do not like it. So maybe I need to put it into persepctive in my own head. Wildomar or as I used to call it, Wildomart and others called it Wildomess, was part of Riverside county. So if you know CA. you are already saying "eek". Right. If I had known then what I know now, we would have done things differently. Riverside is a pit, putting it as polietly as I can. They have several social issues and no money. A perfect recipe for disaster and that it was. Well, the worst part about Wildomar is we were the very West and very South part of Riverside county. We were sandwiched between Riverside County, Temecula, and San Diego County. Well, sort of but it doesn't matter. We never got any news about our area, we did not get weather information, etc. we were pretty much non-existent. But they sure loved our taxes to help with the Riverside problems. We have one police officer for 200 square miles. Only if I were kidding, I am not. As a result we had a--holes that would tear up and down our streets on their ATV's and motorcycles. I am sure you are thinking "kids". Nope, full grown adults some of them homeowners and unlucky for me, next door and across the street from me. They had no care for my peace or anyone elses. I was in amazement that even when my child was out in front, a full grown adult would pop wheelies on his dirt bike in front of our house. There was not a darned thing we could do either. The police were too busy with other very serious calls. I could hear our neighbors screaming at each other, calling names, music blasting, the smell of marijuana came down, cigarette smoke, bascially it was a slum. I think tattoos and pitbulls outnumbered people. LOL! Our house was nice, mostly everyones was but there were a few choice neighbors that brought down the whole neighborhood. I was very unhappy there.
So Josh is born and we are able to free ourselves on scumbag neighbors. We luckily sell and we are outta there. Before I go on I have a funny story behind that. So the plan was for Charlie to come here and set up house. I would stay behind and sell the house. Ha! It lasted about a month. Charlie came out almost every weekend and then we couldn't stand it. I packed up and moved out. I hate Wildomar, I hated most of my neighbors, I needed out! So we come to Buckeye where we have a wonderful police department who responds in minutes not hours, we have a fire department that is so nice and they stop and just chat with you, we know our Mayor and the Mayor's wife is one of Chelsea's teachers, it is heaven and I love it. Our neighbors? Let me tell you. Next door, love them! The nicest family and they have been so wonderful to us. I always try to achieve Zoilaness daily. She is the best Mom and housewife. So I call it Zoilaness. She is what I strive to be. Next to them, a quiet small family with one young son. Very nice people but we do not see them much. Next to them, Rae, a foster mom whom I adore. She is the best cook and is always having one of the girls deliver me things! Paul across the street, single and totally marriage material. He has 2 teen daughters that he adores. He cooked me a dinner one night when I wasn't feeling well. A single guy that cooks, amazing! 2 doors down (no one lives next to Paul yet), a young pastor and his wife Amanda just had their first baby Lucy 2 weeks ago (saw them Thursday night and they asked if I wanted to hold Lucy, I almost fainted, but I said no because I had not washed my hands. Love them!), next to them a physician in training at Children's and her husband who is a retired Fireman and their 3 young kids. They are very nice too! OK so I could go on and on. I love my neighbors, I love my neighborhood, I love my quiet house, I love Buckeye. It's a small town and everything is all interwined and everyone knows everyone. It is really great. So I hope it puts in perspective why I love it here so much. I came from the ghetto LOL! It is so deceptive there. The houses are nice but the people, ugh, the people are just......no. Bad.

High Holy Day Halloween

2008-10-31T15:22:00.000-07:00

OK this will be a quick and incomplete post but I wanted to say hello and Happy Halloween.
Charlie is on his way home, I have the boys taking a late nap, I am so ready for tonight. I am excited to get the boys all dressed up. I hope they both behave well. At some point a fight will ensure and it is likely Chelsea will be involved. She has this uncanny knack for creating havoc on holidays and making the children cry.
I will post pictures and videos hopefully tonight or tomorrow. Grandma's come first and then if I have time, I will post them here.
Niether Charlie nor I are dressing up this year. That does not mean our hearts aren't it it, they are, we just have so many other cool things going on we need to man them to make sure they are all going. We should have dressed Babar up though I do not know what would fit him except a tent. HA!

Shoot. I hear Josh up. OK let me write this in here so I don't forget to talk about it later. Pitbulls. If I ever see Pitbulls for sale I can almost draw the person without even seeing them. Young, uneducated, male. I know never blame the dog, blame the owner. OK will do. I will blame the owners. Irresponsbile back yard breeders. Inbreeding. Aggressive or no training. OK I will go into this in detail later. It is Halloween afterall. I can smell the fake fog. It brings me right back to Knotts Scary Farm. BOO HOO! I miss it! So we will make our own tonight.
OK seriously....gotta go....jabberin' on tonight aren't it?

OOOOOH Ghost Hunters Live tonight. You're crazy if you miss it!
Seriously.....going now.

Helping

2008-10-29T12:55:00.000-07:00

I like to help and I never feel like I do enough. I try to volunteer where I know if I make a committment, I can keep it. Nothing drives me more crazy than people who flake out. I was just having this discussion with someone recently. She said she didn't understand why people flake. I have seen flakiness increase with every new generation. It was semi-bad when I was growing up and now I see it more prevalent than ever. It drives me insane. My Mom used to laugh at me because whenever there was a group project in my classes, it meant I was going to be doing the work of 6 people all on my own. It used to tick me off that they all would benefit from my work and get A's but I was not about to let my grade slip because people are flakey. It was worth it to me to work my butt off to do what was necessary to get that A.
I just donated a box of food for a Phoenix Mommy who belongs to a church that is collecting food. So I felt ok about that. But typical me, always doubting if I sent enough. So I stewed (and still stewing) did I do enough?
I liked when I was on the HOA because I felt like I was helping my community but I had to step down right after my second chemo treatment. The elections were up and though every part of me wanted to keep doing it, I had no idea what the future was going to bring. So I stepped down because I was afraid I would not be able to honor my committment. The only meeting I missed in a year was when I gave birth to Jake. We had one member who totally disappeared half way through the year because she had to have a hysterectomy. I thought, "big deal", you can't show up for the meetings before or after the surgery? I do not know the full extent of her situation but I know I made a committment and I was going to be there. Before and after my C-Section. Before and after my mastectomies and chemo. No, I did not feel good but I was voted in by my community and I was going to be there to represent them.
I am and always have been the helper never the helpee. Until I got cancer. I was so suprised at how many people offered and as I have mentioned before who didn't offer. I likely said no to most of them even if I did need the help. I hate relying on people for a few reasons. One, people flake when you rely on them and then where are you? Stuck, thats where. Second, I like to try to do things on my own. I have never been the damsel in distress until I met Charlie. Over time I have seen myself let down my guard and actually ask for help from him. I am lucky. He is there most of the time when I need it. Though I have to say he is always willing to help sometimes he does not know how. Because I have always been able to do things on my own, he has been put in the position to never have to help me. So he doesn't quite know what I need most of the time. My fault though. So I have to be really specific about what I need and he does it.

The one thing I always loved about Charlie from the time we met was when he said he would call, he would. I hated men who said they would call and then didn't or waited too long. It was a deal breaker for me every time. Charlie would say "hey, I will call you tomorrow at 4" At 4, he called. He was always great about keeping his word and I found that so rare not just with men but women too. People in general do not do what they say they will do. I will teach my children better and I hope they listen.
Keeping your word, not being late, keeping your committments, it is all a sign of respect and maturity and I see it seriously lacking in todays society. So what I've dine is weeded out the flakes in my life. I started it when I was about 21. I mentioned Jani and what a flake she had always been. I finally said "enough"! I had a friend that was always late. From 15 minutes up to 2 hours. That was it for me. The last time she was late, it was 45 minutes and I was so mad. So I made a decision that I would not let it happen to me anymore.
Thus far since being in AZ, I have been really lucky. I met Cynthia and her parents who have been awesome to me and my children. She has been there for me like no other friend I have ever had. She has saved me more times than I can count. She watched my children while I was so sick from chemo and could not walk or eat. She was there for me when I needed a blood transfusion on a Sunday afternoon in the midst of her moving and having her own children at home. I mean, how do you ever say thank you? My dearest friend Bern whom I miss so much everyday. She is there for me to sob on the phone, her door is always open to me, she is what a true friend is. I just adore her and her family! And so far, the Phoenix Mommies have been awesome too. Everyone is super nice and they all show up when they say they will. So I think my method of weeding out the bad and in with the good is working. I love to think that as I age and go through menopause, I will find friends like my Granny had. People she could call on, rely on, talk to, play cards with, and who were there to mourn her passing. But she was an amazing woman and everyone adored her. I hope to someday be half the person she was.

So Josh has been saying a few things the last month and I keep missing them on film. So last night I walked around with the camera to catch some of the things he is saying and doing. He has been navigating the computer since he was about a year old. He now is able to load up games and videos on my computer itself as well as the net. He works the Tivo too and knows how to find his shows. I think it is amazing.

Bad Movies

2008-10-26T19:45:00.000-07:00

So Charlie was gone for 3.5 days. IN that time I rented the chick flicks I am never allowed to see. I saw Sex and the City finally. WOW, what a total let down. Not for me at all. Too depressing, too sad, not funny, not for me. I also saw Enchanted. Cute. Not for me and maybe not what I was looking for that night. I was looking for more like an Every After. I guess it was sort of like and Ever After but I do not find Patrick Dempsey that cute. I still see him as that nerdy little scrawny guy in those cheeseball movies from the 80's. I just couldn't get past it.

OK so I am so excited. My Mom is going to try to get my sister out here for my hysterectomy. So it will be my Mom and my sister here! Isn't that awesome? I feel like I can breath. Now I need to reset my surgery date again. Lindsey is going to think I'm crazy. I keep changing the date on her LOL!

Why hasn't the easy open and ziploc shut potato chip bag been invented yet? I am so frustrated with hard to open bags. Then they rip open and fly everywhere. Then if they don't and you have enough to actually justify putting into the pantry, they go stale because no matter what super chip clip you have, air always gets in. So I have noticed that cheese, chicken nuggets, and other items have easy to open bags with ziploc closures. Whats up with the chip industry? The technology is not that foreign and could not be that hard if the cheese industry has caught on.

So some really awful stuff happened here this last week. A DPS officer was shot and killed. I will tell the story in short because I have a lot to say about it. This officer lives in Tartesso and he went to our local Wal-Mart here to pick up a blow up bed for his visiting in-laws. On the way home he saw someone laying in the middle of the road. Now this road is somewhat desolate so it must have been very eery to get out of the truck. But like the nice guy he was, he got out to see if this guy was ok. As he did someone came out from behind a transformer with a shotgun and shot him in the chest.
The guys were 15 & 16 years old. They wanted to carjack the DPS officer because they wanted to go to a party.
Where to start. The worst thing I did was stay out all night. I was pretty mean to my mother too. I think I was pretty typical because I had friends worse than I was and I also had some that were better. So I figure I was right in the middle. So between 2 teen boys, niether had sense? No one thought enough to stop and say "this is not right". It's insane to me. They will get charged as adults and I hope they get a whole lotta of nothing nice. It has really been bothering me a lot. The DPS officer left behind a young child and wife that is pregnant.

OK on to happier stuff because that whole thing has me in a funk.
We took Chelsea and her friend to the movies yesterday. They had a really good time. They came back here and ate pizza and played video games. It was nice to see Chelsea happy. Now she wants to do a sleep over and I am not sure how I feel about that yet. I need to ponder it awhile.

www.thewallaby.com is almost ready! We actually had a customer wanting to sign up. How exciting is that?

Bern left to go home to England Friday to see her Mum. There has been a lot going on in her family and she just wants to be with them. Can't blame her. Plus her sister just had the most gorgeous baby boy! He is SO precious and you should see these clothes. I am in love! That same sister also has a daughter who is absolutely stunning. These kids are incredible and should be in commercials. So she is excited to go over and spend time there.

OK going to go eat something bad for me and watch Amazing Race. Are you watching too?????
OH ALSO before I forget, ladies, out in your Tivos, "Say Yes to the Dress" You will LOVE this show!

I think I found my friend!

2008-10-23T19:13:00.000-07:00

When Charlie is gone I seem to get so much done. So weird, isn't it?
OK so I think I may have tracked down my college friend Sara. I am so excited! I wrote her an email via Classmates.com but I am not sure how that thing works. So I am not sure she will get it. I hope she does, I miss her so much! I want to hear about everything that has been going on with her. I don't know if you remember that whole story. She moved, I moved, she left me a message, I left her one, she moved, and we just totally lost each other. So I am hoping and hoping that she gets that message. I would love to see her!

I don't think I told anyone about my childhood friend Jani. I mean, I remember blogging about her and how sad it was that I lost touch with her. It was obviously more sad for me than her. She grew up in the same house and had the same friends forever. I on the other hand moved place to place and any connection I made with anyone as a child was lost when we moved. Remember, no internet back then. So I always held my friendship with Jani near and dear to me. She did not though. So let me go back and tell the whole story.
In 1989 when I was at NAU, I called Jani because I was coming out for a visit. I was staying with Mrs. T, my grandmothers friend and next door neighbor while she was alive. I have known Mr. & Mrs. T my whole life. Anyway, Jani was like "yea, call me we will do lunch" I said "great, I will" So I get there and we make plans. That morning she cancels and remakes them for the following day. Fine with me. That day she calls and cancels. Same thing for the next day and it was at that point I lost my mind. I said "Jani, I don't come out often and I am only here for 3 days. I really wanted to get together and catch up but I can see that is not going to happen and that is really sad." She said "well next time you come into town, let me know and we will get together" I never called and frankly it would not have been worth it. Now remember I was 22 and we had known each other since we were born. I was pretty heartbroken. Mrs. T never liked how Jani treated me. I never thought it was too bad and I think it was because I held that friendship so dear to me. It was the only consistent friend I had.

So....about a year ago my Uncle Bob tells me he ran into Jani and he got her email address. So I wrote her. I figured she must have changed. HA! Nope! Same flakey Jani as ever. She is married and has a 3 year old son. She was in the midst of a divorce though. She sent a photo and she was prettier now than she ever was. I was happy for her because she was always very insecure about herself and her looks which is partially why she kept cancelling plans on me. She had a boyfriend. Yup, she's that kind of girl. Totally forgets her friends when a guy comes around. I kept wrote her a few times and then she just never answered me. Same Jani as ever. I have to wonder if she has any friends to this day. Her son is totally adorable. She must love him to pieces.

So I called yesterday to make an appointment for laser hair removal on my face. Ugh, I have to wait until I am 6 months out of chemo. Of course! So I read online that chemo causes facial hair. Of course it does! Then I am on these hormone suppressants too. I figure I could go as Santa this year at Christmas. Annoying!

Josh's Moon

2008-10-21T11:14:00.000-07:00

Josh is slow to speak. He is very smart (I know all parents say that but it's true and certified by an M.D., Josh is brilliant!). This weekend Charlie was reading him a book and he said "moon" Well, he has been uttering a few words for a few weeks but this one was clear as a bell and I caught it on tape.

He's cute, what can I say?
Speaking of my children and cute. Charlie and I had to go to Sam's this weekend not only for our normal stock up but we needed to get Halloween candy. IHop is right there and though I don't really like IHop, Charlie does so we go there every once in awhile. Plus I thought it was important to feed the kids before we went on a trek through Sam's. While were waiting, Charlie was trying to entertain Jake and took the cutest photo of them both.
I think that is worthy of framing. That was actually taken with a cell phone. Man, things have changed in a few short years. My camera takes the crappiest photos!

Halloween is almost here and our house is looking magnificent, what can I say? Charlie really out did himself this year. I will be sure to post pictures and videos. It is very cool!

I think it official, we have lost interest in Deperate Housewives. We haven't watched the last 2 weeks. I do believe they jumped the shark. I think it was a combination of the writer's strike and then the FF to 5 years. Just didn't work for us. I hate who Gabby has become. Charlie liked Carlos and was sad to see he was blind. And their children, ick. I always hated Terri Hatcher so not seeing her is not exactly breaking my heart. Still love Lynette and trying to grasp whats up with Bree. But I think we have sort of let it go. Sad, it was a good show.

One show I just started taping was Say Yes to the Dress. It is really good especially if you love weddings. I am in awe of these dresses and some others I'm screaming at the TV "WHAT are you thinking???" LOL! I don't have anyone to talk to all day, so yes, I talk to my TV. Whatever

Last night I made meatloaf, loaded potatoes, and LeSuer peas. We had a bunch to do last night and had to get over to Wal-Mart really quick. Without thinking, we left everything out. A big no-no with a big dopey Dane. He somehow got up on the oven and pulled down the meatloaf. While yes that is bad, the worst part is that I cook my meatloaf in a glass bread pan. So there was glass everywhere and we are sure he ate some too. So now we need to watch is glass ass and make sure he doesn't rip anything up in there. Ugh. Because I never have enough going on.

OK so on Lifetime, please watch Living Proof. It is important to understand what leaps and bounds have been made in the cancer treatment field. I am so impressed. I am Her2 Neg. so I could not be on Herceptin. Seems like a great drug with no side effects. What a miracle.

I feel like I have not talked about my cancer treatment too much with anyone. About how bad I really felt. I can think about it and bring that feeling right back to my mind. Enough time has not passed yet I suppose. I still cannot eat a cupcake much less walk into a Sprinkles. I am nauseated thinking about it. I still get bone pain too from the Neulasta but I was told that the Fareston I am on will cause that too. So I don't know if it is that or lasting effects of the Neulasta. I am still not as strong as I used to be. I find myself struggling with little things. Picking up baskets of laundry, opening jars, bending over or crouching down, getting up the stairs, and really bad vertigo. I'm not sure if or when I will ever be normal again. I guess when I got cancer I thought, ok, I will lose a small part of my breast and then go through radiation. I never thought beyond that. I certainly was not ready for menopause and a hysterectomy. Cancer changes your now but really changes your future. I always wonder if it is going to be cancer that kills me in the end and what kind. I made sure I asked where breast cancer usually goes next. Lung, spine, ovaries, places you would expect. So at least I know if I start feeling something, to get in right away.
I am supposed to go in for a Mammogram at the end of the month and blood work too. I guess they want to make sure that any cells that may have escaped from my 2 breast cancer lumps aren't growing anywhere else. Kind of strange that I could have more cancer growing right now. But I go in every 3 months to catch anything that may be growing really early. That betters my chances for survival.
Cancer, wow. I still cannot get my mind around that I had breast cancer. I still don't know if I am considered a cancer patient or a survivor.

Charlie is leaving Wednesday for his EA Community Day for Lord of the Rings. So he will be gone until Saturday. That day I am meeting the moms for Buckeye Heritage Day at our new park. So that should be lots of fun as long as I can control my children of the corn.

We went out with the moms to a pumpkin farm. I like this place because there are animals you can hold and stuff. I am still hell bent on someday holding a turkey. A live turkey. I am so fascinated with how big and puffy they are. I just have this weird need to hold one. I guess I want to see if they are as big and heavy as the look.
It was so great seeing the moms! I met Crissy finally and that was nice. I didn't get to talk to her much because I was trying to keep an eye on my heathens. Which I did not do a good job of because I turned around and Mandy was running after Josh as he turned the corner to see the ducks. LOL! It takes a darned village I tell ya!
Everyone babies are SO well-behaved, quiet and mellow. And cute? Oh my gosh! THE cutest babies I have ever seen are in this group of moms.
SO I have decided that I am going to pass my boys around to everyone and they can do whatever it is they do to their kids to make them happy and quiet. I am hosting Bunko next and hahahaha oh they will totally understand how good they have it with their little angels. LOL! My kids are so busy, busy, busy! They will be happy to go home and hug their little ones!

Is it really Friday?

2008-10-17T08:59:00.001-07:00

Pinch me! I am so happy it is Friday! The boy's....oh my baby boy's and the trouble they get into. WOW! Seems like I can't turn my back these days without something getting broken, someone getting into something, someone crying, etc. I heard it gets better as they get older. So I am patiently waiting for them to get out of this stage that they are both in.

We went to a pumpkin patch. It was ok. We didn't get a pumpkin but Josh did ride a few rides. He had so much fun. I am still feeling under the weather. I have been taking Tylenol every 4 hours to try to perk myself up a bit. The throat is slightly sore still, I have this weird dry cough, it's nothing severe, just enough to feel blah. BUT, Saturday (oh my gosh, that's tomorrow) we are meeting a bunch of other families to go to Tomachaloff Farms for pumpkin picking. This time we will get a pumpkin though! It should be a lot of fun.

I think I may have finally gotten my hormone treatment under control. I have taken a 1/2 pill for the last 3 days and I seem to be ok. I am able to sleep at night and my heart isn't palpitating all night. So I think these are day time pills only. I did schedule my next surgery for Nov. 26th but I will be changing that. I talked to Lindsey yesterday and she has to coordinate with Dr. Koh to be able to get a date going.

Sunday we are going to be Halloween decorating. I can't believe how late we are starting. Usually it is done by the first of the month. We have been so busy though, we haven't had the chance to get out there and do something. I did look at Knotts Scary Farms' website. I got all in the Halloween mood. So now I am excited. We will be buying our candy this weekend too and I am trying to figure out what’s the best candy to get.

We got our website up http://www.thewallaby.com/ It looks so cute and I am so excited. We are not functional yet but we will be shortly. Frantz sent the pocket and it was not what we were looking for. So Mom made a new pocket and sent it to him. As soon as the pocket is correct we will get a full gown and then go to production! Yea! Today I am working on the merchant account and payment gateway. Fun is!

OK so this has been hanging over me (and why I can't watch things like this). I was watching an episode of Cops. It was an older episode. Anyway, this mother left her 4 children in a hotel room. There were 5 children in total; the other child was a friend of someone else who was living in the hotel by another woman. OK so 5 kids total in this hotel room. The oldest was 8 and the youngest was 1. The 1 year old had apparently been walking around the hotel for 2 days with no diaper. These kids were filthy as you can imagine. No shoes and some old pizza was lying around. OK so the mothers show up and the police are there. They ask where they have been. The Mom with the 2 kids went to bail her boyfriend out of jail and the mother of the one other child went with her. They thought the children would be ok by themselves.So, sigh, where do I begin? First, she enough money to get her boyfriend of jail but not enough for diapers? Where does a Mother's loyalty lie? ALWAYS without question it should be with the children. Yet, does it not seem that so many Mom's put men first in their lives? Why? Children rely on us 100% of the time for 100% care and guidance. Why and how anyone could let a child try to fend for themselves is beyond me. I would rather be a lonely old shriveled shrew but have happy healthy well-adjusted children. No person would ever come before my children.
Second, why would they not have taken the children with them? I mean, pile them all in the car and have your friend watch them in the car while you go get your loser boyfriend out of jail.
Third, why didn't one of them stay behind to watch the kids in the room? Let's say that they all didn't fit in the car, ok, well did it take 2 people to give money and sign papers? No, doubt it.
Forth, is it really that slim out there that someone in jail is your only choice? Wouldn’t you rather be single than spend money on a boyfriend in jail. A husband is a different story.I could go on and on about this. It ticked me off.
What also always gets me....people who say they are so broke but suddenly have a new tattoo, piercing, cigarettes or a pitbull. No you are no broke, you just do not want to spend money in the right places.
And while on the subject of Pitbulls. I wish they would be outlawed. Basically at this point they are just a legal means of walking with a loaded gun in your hand. I know, it's the owners not the dogs. Well as much as it is tempting, we can not get rid of the type of people who own Pitbulls so the dogs are the only expendable things in the equation. No not all pitbulls are bad and no not all owners are bad. But I would say the majority of each are bad and that creates a problem. Take for instance the boys in our neighborhood. There are now about 6 or 7 young Hispanic males that hang out together. They all have Pitbulls (great parents huh?). They keep them on leashes but barely. They dogs are pulling to get away and these scrawny kids can barely hang on to them. But they think it is sport to say :”attack attack” and have the Pitbulls get aggressive. It is not funny, though they think it is. I’ve called and ask the police department what I can do. They were super nice about it and agreed it is aggressive behavior but nothing can be done. I sort of knew that but I just wanted to make sure. So we are buying a bat and bear spray to put in our garage. Charlie sometimes has to go out with Babar and we have to keep the kids inside because of these kids and their Pitbulls.
OK Jake is in my China again. I will try to come back later.

Hate being sick

2008-10-11T21:37:00.000-07:00

So Josh had croup last week. I think he handled it well and got over it pretty quick. I never even considered that the rest of us could catch something. So yesterday I had a sore throat all day. Today a little sniffle. Just kind of feel a little tired. Not up to par. But, I still feel better than I have and let me tell you why. These hormone suppression drugs are going to be the death of me. I was so worried about hotflashes and bitchiness. Oh no. This is far worse than I ever imagined. First, I cannot get to sleep. When I finally do, it's a few hours of "rest" not true sleep. I can hear eveything, I dream these really vivid dreams, it's like I never slept. It's awful! My heart palpitates, hard to breath, etc. So I called Amy, the PA. My oncologist saw me twice 6 months ago and that has been it. She apparently broken her ankle and can't work. So whatever. Amy is a PA and she has been following my "care". So I tell them the deal and her answer to me "keep taking them, they side effects will go away". So I kind of laughed and said "well, I'm not going to take them". So Tuesday, I will be making an appointment with Dr. Koh to see what my options are. I will not and cannot live this way. I was about insane from lack of sleep by Friday afternoon. I had to put the boy's down and take a nap. Which I did and it was nothing but those weird vivid dreams again.

On a good note, Friday I got my drain out. I saw Kristen at Dr. Rebecca's office and she did it. It was the best drain ever. She pulled it out and it did not even hurt a little bit. I am so free! I can get undressed without gingerly making sure there is a tension loop in the tubing so I don't pull it. I don't have to put my hands up to protect myself from my children when they feel the need to immitate a rhino and charge me. Ahhh! I am free for a little while. I think I probably have about a month before I will look like Medusa once again.

OK so as I was telling my Mom. I am somewhat thankful for the drains because they keep me from getting seromas but they are leaving behind these little keloid scars and I am starting to look like a minky blanket. And I know I will have at least 3 more drains on my next surgery. So I oh my gosh, if only I were a little fuzzier, I could bill myself as the human minky blanket.

So I didn't tell many people but I found a new lump last weekend. It was a little scary because it was in an area where there is still breast tissue and lymphnodes. All I thought was "great, I did all that for nothing?" Thankfully Dr. Gray got me in and they felt is. Oh, let me explain "they". Remember a long time ago I said Dr. Gray had his little ducklings. Well, he still does. He is an extremely talented surgeon and therefore has many a student (like Dr. Rebecca does but she usually just has one at a time). So whenever you see him, he has about 4-5 people all nicely dressed following him around. I teased him when he came in and told him that he always has a posse with him. LOL!
So "they" (all 4 of them), felt my lump. They then pulled the ultrasound machine in and it picked it up right away. Relief, it was clear, meaning it was fluid filled. Yea! So they went ahead and drained it and it was gone. Whew, dodged that bullet.

I went out for Mom's Night Out Friday to Mimi's. Gosh it was fun. I got to just sit there and be. Sounds so existential doesn't it? When everyone was leaving, I felt like a little puppy wanting to get the ball thrown again. I kept thinking "when is the next one, when is the next one, when is the next one?" The only thing missing from my pathetic self was a little drool and some bad breath. I really miss hanging out with Bern. I wish we didn't live so far apart.
I am in this really weird spot where I am too old to be a Mom of such young babies and too young to be in the Red Hat Ladies. It's so strange. I mean, here I am in the middle of menopause with babies to care for. So where do I fit? The girls were talking about their periods last night and I just sat there like "yup, I remember the days". All I wanted to ask was "what do you do when you have a hotflash?" I'm in such a weird spot and not one I am real happy about. I need to get over it because this is me for the rest of my life. So I need to work it out in my mind and my heart.

So last night I am on the phone with my Mom and Chelsea comes in and says "Mom, Daddy is hallucinating, he thinks he saw Kiwi". I ignored her and didn't think anything of it. So Charlie went upstairs to play a game and he turned off all the lights downstairs. I was on my computer. I walked into the kitchen to get a water and darn it if I didn't see the same exact thing. It was the back half of a gray cat with a dark gray tail. So I yelled for Charlie. He came downstairs with a flashlight and we searched the backyard and front yard. Nothing. So.....was it Kiwi?
I asked Charlie to set up the video camera at the windown so we could tape. So I think that is in our plans in the near future.

It was 82 degrees today. Nice I am sure you are thinking. No, it was freezing! LOL! Funny how you become so acclimated to your surroundings.

OK I have more to say but I am tired and Charlie and Chelsea just walked in. Now I can't get a thought together. Too noisy.

-Night

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY HUSBAND!

2008-10-09T07:13:00.000-07:00

charlie.mccracken@gmail.com

If you would like to wish him a Happy Birthday too :)

Pigeons

2008-10-07T16:00:00.000-07:00

So I went to see Dr. Rebecca yesterday. I love to go there just to chat. She is so funny and so are Lindsey & Kristen. Dr. Rebecca always has some young intern in there too and they are always nice and funny too. So we got on the subject of killing animals. She said her boyfriend wouldn't kill a snake with a hoe because it's so violent. But he said he has no problem killing pigeons. I said funny you should say that. My neighbr across the street abandoned his home and the piegons have completely taken over. In fact there was a dead one in their yard for quite some time. I can only assume it was West Nile or something because it was fat and not sickly. Well, other than being dead, it wasn't sickly. OK so I put in a request via Maricopa County Vector Control to come take care of these darned pigeons. I was telling Dr. Rebecca and Lindsey how there were so many and oh my gosh, there are always babies over there. Now they've started landing over here. I am not sure if you remember but when we first moved in here, I had my office upstairs where Josh's room now is. I would see the pigeons come over and land. Well, I did not want pigeons on my room so I opened the window and pushed Kiwi on to the roof. She just sat there and the pigeons came and landed around her. Some threatening cat huh?
So now every time I go outside there are about 20 little red beady eyeballs looking at me. I hate them and they need to go. They are so messy! I am hoping that Vector Control does a better job at riding the pigeons than I did. If they pull out a Siamese Cat, I will tell them they need to try something else because I already tried that LOL!

TV stinks tonight. There was so much on last night and for whatever reason, we watched everything we had on our Tivo. So now it is bore city. He will be working late, come home, eat, get the mail, get on his computer, go upstairs and play games. I will sit here on my computer and play Azada for 15 minutes and then watch the stupid shows I taped 3 weeks ago on Tivo that I really do not want to watch but that are there for emergency purposes.
BRB...Jake is into something.

Bunko!

2008-10-06T21:25:00.001-07:00

OK I needed that. I had so much fun. It was just nice to sit for more than 15 minutes and not have to change a diaper or pick up something slimy from the floor. I kept having hotflashes which is just so werid and embarrassing. I get this sweat mustache (on top of my real mustache). I feel like I should be carrying a sweat hanky with me or something. Geez.

And Mandy had cats. Awwww, kitties. I miss having a cat. But we don't need to go there again. Everyone knows I miss my cat.

I am hosting the next one at my house on November 3rd. So far it doesn't look like anyone can make it but I hope that changes. We will see. It's hard to do anything with little ones around. I get that!

Wednesday Dr. Gray is going to biopsy that new lump I found. I am sure it's nothing (knocking on wood).

Ok Heroes tapes. Gotta skeedaddle.

It's Amazing Race Night

2008-10-05T19:29:00.001-07:00

So once again, I do not have the time I wish I had to write. But I will write as much as I can until I hear my mating call from above.

OK so really quick. Fruitcake Cruise. Right. I was reading Charlie's Maxim and there was this whole thing on this underground website where they have vowed to take down the Scientology religion. They view it as evil or whatever. So I did a little research on this crazy video of Tom Cruise. OK, so I find it right (gotta love You Tube), holy cow. He is NUTS! OK so this video was basically an intro video to some award he got. If that boy isn't right, I don't know who isn't. Because that boy is NOT right at all. So I think I find this all so disappointing. I used to have the biggest crush on him and now he is a nutjob. What the heck? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFBZ_uAbxS0

I have not been back to that website. Though I found it midly interesting because of the whole undergrounded-ness of it all, I saw an image that distrubed me. You know me. Things that bother me, stay with me for weeks. But I do have a positive note to that. Since they did fry my brain and I can't remember anything, I forget bad things better than I did before. So I know that totally did not make any sense. Before chemo, I could visually remember about anything to a T. Now? I can vaguely remember things but it is in pieces. So yes, I really miss my memory on some level. Like name and faces but on that....I love that I cannot remember some of the bad stuff I see and hear. Charlie told me a few things about Kiwi being put to sleep. He who knows me best and he revealed things I should have never heard. I can only hope they fade like some of my other memories.

OK so it looks like The Wallaby site is about ready to launch. Though our product is not completely perfect, we have a really cute website. I am excited to get this thing started. It is a good time too because this is my slow season for swimwear. So I can really dedicate a lot of time to this new project.

Oh oh oh, at the Fall Festival I met someone that knows someone who breeds blue Great Danes. Oh crap. Did I already talk about this? Let me go look. Nope didn't. OK good. So she was Debbie Driscoll and she works for Buckeye. She gave me her card and told me to email her for the Dane info. So I did. I can't wait to go take a peek at what they have going on over there :)

So I met the new babysitter today. She was as awesome in person as she was on the phone. I liked her a lot! She was very friendly and very nice! So I am hoping we didn't scare her off and she would be willing to come over and watch the boys. I am so excited. I may actually get to go out with my husband.

Even more exciting is all the fun I am about to have this month. So Monday is Bunko....oh shoot, I know I've talked about this in previous posts. So whatever. Don't read this if you've read it already. It's all new posting to me....ha! Monday is Bunko, Friday is Mom's Night Out, Saturday is Garage Sale and I am meeting another person interested in babysitting, Sunday is Walk for the Cure AKA "Andi Crying Day". Then Charlie will be leaving for Lord of the Rings game thing for EA. It's one of those invitational Community Days for EA where the geeks all gather together, play games, grunt, snort, drink, and act like the goobers that they are. I always wondered if they look at the person next to them and say "wow, what a nerd". HA! Now you know you are a nerd if the nerd next to you is calling you a nerd. That's Ulti-Nerdom there!
There are many situations where I will say "gosh I would love to be a fly on the wall at that function". Not this one. I am afraid for society when the nerds gain strength in numbers and no one is around to trashcan them or tell them they are being geeks. With freedom comes no limits. Be afraid, very afraid.

OK....gotta go take some anti-hormone medication and go watch Amazing Race. Did you know Amazing Race has won 13 Emmy's? That's right! So watch it...it's really good!

Quick Post

2008-10-04T16:18:00.001-07:00

OK so today was the Fall Festival. I thought I would be so laid back on this one but I wasn't. Both my boy's are mobile and therefore, so am I. I felt like I needed 3 me's. One me for Jake, one me for Josh, and one me to enjoy myself. I think maybe next year I will have more fun. I told Charlie today that if the kids are not any different, I will not go next year. It is just too hard to run after both kids at the same time.
I never did eat anything the whole time I was there. I never even had a drink. So I came home and wiped out a Pepsi. Still a bit hungry though. I would like to go and get something to eat in a little bit.
Some of the Phoenix Mommies showed up. It was Leslie, Patricia, and Mandy. I was super happy to see them. But I had made the mistake of sitting where the Snow Cone Machine was because Charlie was in charge of Snow Cones. Well, that was right where the DJ was and it was so loud. I couldn't hear anyone or anything!

So I hear the OJ was finally found guilty of something. Now I can only hope that does not saturate everything we see and read. Sentence the guy and let it go. No more press, no more books, no more analyzing. But I do have to say this. I was surprised he was found guilty. Though not because I didn't think he did whatever it was he did but because those who testified against him were so slimy. As if anyone of class would hang around OJ Simpson. You pay for your friendship with your life. But anyway, I mean, I was suprised because from what I heard, these people pretty much saved their own skins by testifying against him. To me, no matter who is on trial, that really depreciates that subjects credibility. So you cannot tell me OJ's past did not catch up to him in this case. I think it finally did. And I guess we will know how much it caught up to him once sentencing comes down. Should be sort of interesting. But beyond that, I hope it doesn't interrupt my shows during the day or takeover any one particular channel. I feel like OJ has benefited quite enough by killing those 2 people. Let's not glorify him anymore.

I just have to say something. I am sitting here and it is SO quiet, it is eerie. I love it. My mind is finally not screaming inside, just please let it be 7pm so these children of the corn will go to bed!

So Charlie actually did something romantic. I know most women think of romance as flowers, candles, food but not me. Even if he changes a poopy diaper, it's amore'! He actually purchased tickets to see Kathy Griffin. I have no idea where he got the money and frankly I did not ask and I did not care. Wow, that is selfish of me, isn't it? But I really want to go. I always said if she came to PHX, I wanted to see her. Well, she is and I am and oh my gosh. I am SO happy! So now I just have to find that dream babysitter so I can rest my mind and have a good time. I like Kathy for several reason (we are first name basis, yes). I like that she is not Hollywood. I like that she not only laughs at these ridulous boobs but she tells true stories of their idiotic behavior. I call her the People's Celebrity. And isn't it funny how she is outshining them all for being exactly opposite of what Hollyweird stands for? Love it!
Speaking of that. I read Maxim Mag........Gotta go...Mr. Romance is waiting for me. BBL I hope. If not, I will continue my story later. It's about Tom "Fruitcake" Cruise.

The impending surgery

2008-10-02T10:27:00.000-07:00

So as most of you know I have been trying my darndest to get out of doing the hysterectomy. Well, not going to happen. I called my Genetic Counselor and I have a 40% chane of getting Ovarian Cancer. So that did that. I sure tried though. I looked everywhere to try to find evidence that says BRCA 2 positive people do not have any risks for any other cancers except breast.
But, nope. So taking a deep breath. Here we go. No more children.
Trying to talk myself into this. I mean I guess at my age, the change was on its way anyway. I can always foster or adopt. I can get a new puppy or kitten. Run for local office, which sounds like fun to me. I don't know. Something will come along to make me feel better I guess. I just need to wait for it or find it.

Breast Cancer Awareness month. Gosh. Could it be anymore in my face? So am I a survivor now or what? Am I still a cancer pt. since I am under watch and have to run tests every 3 months for the next 1-2 years? What am I?

I guess I should probably still commit myself to the Race for the Cure. I don't know. I mean all the Phoenix Mommies are going and I love 98% of them. They really did help me thorough some tough times. All the meals, cards, gifts. Incredibly sweet! And now that I can be social again, we are going to do Bunko and I get to go to the next Mom's Night Out. I am so excited! I guess if they can go, I certainly should go.

OK BBL.

Busy month

2008-09-30T14:12:00.000-07:00

This is the busiest month for the family. It is Halloween afterall.
OK so I did a bad thing. Last night was the beginning of Rosh Hashanah and I served pork chops. Some great Jew I am. Geesh.

Thursday I start cooking my chili for the chili cookoff. Friday I have to pick up the cake for the Fall Festival. Saturday at 10am we start set up.
I thought Sunday was the Race for teh Cure but its not. I think its next Sunday.
Charlies B-Day is on the 9th. Haven't planned anything for the poor guy. Not even a cake :(
So I need to get on that.
If I missing periods or letters in my sentences it is because Josh spilled chips in my keyboard and they are stuck under the keys. I have tried everything to get them out and it is not working.
Then I have Bunko on the 6th. Then Moms Night Out the weekend after. We have to decorate for Halloween. Go get a pumpkin and carve it.
SO much to do!
I am excited though. This is my favorite time of year and it is the first non-surgery month I've had in awhile.

OK so. I know I am treading into dangerous territory here but I feel it needs to be said.
2 years ago I had no health insurance. So I wrote to Komen and asked them where to get a Mammogram done for free or low cost. They never answered me back. So I thought I was barking up the wrong tree and instead of answering me they just ignored me. I thought maybe Komen was for people who already had cancer.
So here I am, with Cancer. So I called a foundation called Cancer Care that is supposed to help with expenses and this is what happened:
So I called Cancer Care and they told me they can only help with co-pays for current care. They kept repeating they could not help me since I was done with my treatment. Well, my treatment facility billed the insurance first and never asked for money up front. Whatever the insurance does not pay, I have to. So I was trying to explain that to her and she just kept "I'm sorry Mam, we cannot help you".So I called Komen. They gave me two phone numbers to call. Same story. It was for co-pays only and Komen is only for low cost Mammograms.
OK so wait a minute. When I asked for a Mammogram, they never answered me. Now I am asking for help as a cancer patient and they still can't help me?
Is Komen a scam??????
Where do they put their money? Who gets the benefit of all that money? I am telling you, it is not someone who needs a Mamm and its not someone who has cancer either. Is is purely research money then?? I would like to know!
This is all B.S. Where is all this money for cancer going to?? It seems that even before I was a cancer patient, I could not get help and as a cancer patient I can't get help either.
So I wrote to several cancer-related places. One person wrote back it is best if we are extremely poor or extremely rich, otherwise I am in the middle and I get nothing.
Well, I will be falling into that extremely poor category soon enough. So far I have over $250,000 in medical bills and I am not done yet. But I figure alive and broke is better than dead and doing ok.

I need to go do a few things. I will try to get on later and write more.

See where Josh gets his cuteness from?

2008-09-29T19:03:00.000-07:00

Busy!

2008-09-25T19:46:00.000-07:00

Geesh....times fun when you're having flies.

OK yesterday Chelsea went to the Dr. to her shot and then I took her to school. I picked her up early and took her to the dentist. All is well. 1 cavity that I apparently forgot to get filled on her last set of treaments.

I was able to get Jake's Dr. to call in a prescription for his eczema so I didn't have to make the drive to Scottsdale. She had already seen it and so she had noted it in his chart. If this med doesn't work though, I have to take him in. It doesn't look like its working so far. His legs are not as red but they are still as bumpy as ever. Poor little man!

Mom got Josh a Potty Watch that goes off every 30, 1 hour or 2 hours. You can do the settings as potty training goes on. So of course, I have it on 30 minutes. Ugh. Am I getting my exercise! I figure with one more to potty train I should have a great buttocks come next Christmas from all the getting up I am doing.
So far Josh loves the Potty Watch. I am liking it too because it is reminding me.
I put big boy pants on him today to see if that would encourage him to stay dry. It didn't. But it was worth a shot.

Had a HOA meeting Tuesday. It went well. VIce Mayor May was there again. So I sat with her. I am looking to get into something again. Well, one more surgery and I think I might like to sit on a committee. I asked her what was open and she said everything. So .....I will look into what interests me and start getting into the Town politics. Though I do love supporting my neighborhood, I love Buckeye so much and I want to help it along. What a great town we live in! Love it here!

My wonderful neighbor Rae made more food for us. I'm tellin' ya, she is so totally awesome. She made the burritos I never got to try because my Mom loved them so much. She also made quiche and I love quiche. I haven't had any yet because I was going to have it today but Chelsea forogt her PE clothes. So I had to load the kids in the car and go into town. Well, though I live in a small town, they are doing major reconstruction and you can't take left here or a right there and it is all so complicated. So it took a lot longer than expected. I ended up going through Sonic and getting the boys and I something to eat. But I will have the quiche tomorrow.
She is such an angel.

Oh, did I mention that she was a foster mom? She and her husband decided to take in teen girls because they were the least desired children to take in. Thats the kind of saint she is. Right now she has two girls. One has made a connection with an Aunt and will likely go and live there and the other is getting ready to age out of the system. But she and her husband have fallen in love with this little 9 year old and they will foster her and then adopt. So cool!
She also started a food bank here. She is doing it via her church and out of her garage. She gets all this free food from the local stores and gives it to the needy. She said whenever I need something, to let her know. It's nice that I actually may not need to leave the house if I ever need eggs or something.

OK so onward. Speaking of friends. Cynthia called me. Bless her heart. She offered to sit with the kids Sat. afternoon so I could get housework done or go out with Charlie. She is too kind to me! I am just so thankful she has been there for us. How can I ever thank her enough for being there while I wallowed in self pity and goobers. Even when I needed that emergency blood transfusion and she was in the midst of moving, she took the boys. She really is incredible. And it makes me think that I just do not have enough trust in people anymore. I mean I put up this huge wall because I have found that somehow or another people tend to let me down eventually. Like the friends I spoke of earlier. I mean years and years of knowing people and *poof* gone once I got cancer. But then you meet people like my Bern, Rae, Cynthia, my neighbor Zoila, and you doubt yourself and your ability to not read people like you thought you could. I have met the most amazing people in AZ. (& Bern in CA).
Just when I think I have it all figured out darn it. Then life sends me a curveball. Whats up with that?

So get this. There is this foundation called Cancer Cares. They help with all kinds of stuff related to cancer. So I called them today for financial assitance because my bills are starting to come in. So this is what she says to me "I am sorry, if you are done with treatment, we cannot help you". I said "But the hospital didn't ask me for money up front, they billed my insurance and then billed me for the remaining" So like a broken record she says "I understand your frustration but we cannot help you unless you are currently having chemo" So I repeated again "They didn't ask me for money on the spot for every treatment, they are billing me now because the insurance isn't covering some of the procedures" So then she says the exact same thing. I said "OK thanks" and hung up.
Does anyone understand that?

OOOOH, Heroes is back and as good as ever. Survivor started tonight. Amazing Race is coming. HOLY COW! Ghost Hunters was on last night. I am SO excited!

Good weekend

2008-09-21T19:51:00.000-07:00

It was not a bad weekend overall.
Saturday we went to New Dawn which is an animal sanctuary. They really should call it an Andi sanctuary. Had it been cooler, they would have had to pry me away. Anyway, what an amazing place! They had emus, pigs, donkeys, horses, chockens, a turkey, a rabbit, and I was in love. It is exactly the place I feel that has been missing for me.
I called before I went because I wanted to know if they were interested in having our large crate that we trained Babar in and some of Kiwi's stuff too. It was not easy to get rid of Kiwi's stuff but it made it easier to give it to the rescue that I fell in love with. I think she would be very happy that her stuff went to a sanctuary for animals. She was afterall abandonded herself. And that is how I found her. When Charlie and I were dating, we were going into his house and I looked up and this gorgeous cat took my breath away. I literally gasped and said "oh my gosh Charlie look at that cat". I went up to her and she head butted my leg and I was toast.
I asked around the apartment complex whose cat she was. No one knew at first but I did entually find someone that thought she belonged to this guy that lived in the apartment where I saw her. So I went up to the apartment to ask if I could have her. She was very thin so it was clear she was not being cared for,. He hymned and hawed and I told him I was moving into a house in 30 days and I would be back to see if I could have her. I mean, honestly, I would have taken her no matter what because she was so thin.
For 30 days I put food out for her and 30 days later to the day, I went back and he said I could have her. He said she was 8 years old and some old guy used to own her. That is all he told me about her. Oh and her name but I can't remember her name. I named her Kiwi.
So I asked around the apartment complex about her to see if I could find out anything and people said that the guy had moved in with a girl who had 3 cats and Kiwi hated other cats, so they kicked her out of the house to fend for herself.
It broke my heart. The day after I got her, I took her to the Vet because she was so thin I thought she had worms. The Vet said that she was fine, just thin and declawed in the front! WOW! How mean is that? She couldn't even catch her own food because she had no claws. And that is how our life with Kiwi began. And I am incredibly sad it is over. I miss her so much and I still say hello to her when I walk into our closet. She liked to sleep there because it was quiet and dark. She slept on one of my shirts and I just do not have the heart to move it. I am not sure I ever will. It was where Charlie picked her up from the day she was put down. It was her place. It still is.

So I am not sure how often I will get out there to New Dawn, probably not enough, but at least I know it is there and when I am feeling crappy, I have a place to go that is like heaven for me.

Today we pretty much hung out around the house. We did go out to IHop for an early dinner. Both boys were horrendous and we could not wait to leave. Not even worh going out anymore with the two heathens.

We did meet someone who will likely be our babysitter when Charlie and I finally decide to go out. She answered my ad on Craigslist. She is a grandmother and she has adopted her one granddaughter. She was very pleasant and she lives right down the street. So I am very excited that Charlie and I might actually get to go somewhere together very soon. I am thinking not next weekend but maybe the next one? That way I will not have any drains and I can enjoy myself.

I just spent a long while outside meeting my neighbor Rae's new puppy. Oh my gosh! SO CUTE! It is a Bloodhound puppy. The cutest, sweetest, puppy. I am in love. I just wanted to get on the ground with her and let her sit in my lap. But once I go down lately, I never get back up without looking like a horses ass. So I just petted her from above. She is adorable!
I just love Rae. She is so nice! And she is the best cook. She keeps bringing over fresh homemade things. Like sourdough bread (my favorite bread ever), and cottage rolls, and banana bread, and she never messes anything up. She is an amazing cook and I am intensely envious. I am excited because she is coming to the HOA meeting and I will get to see her and her husband Dale again. It is so incredibly wonderful to have conversation with people. I am so lonely most of the time.
My other neighbor Zoila called today which was very sweet considering she has probably had about 3 hours of sleep in the last month since her baby was born. She asked how I was doing and all I really wanted to know was how she was doing! I have so been in her shoes and the feelings of being overtired and overworked are still very raw with me. So I just wanted to see that she was holding up. She sounded tired but really good considering how exhausted she must be. And I can bet she is still being SuperMom and SuperWife too despite no sleep! She is my inspiration to do better and be better at mothering and wiving (is that even a word?).

Talked to my Mom today. She is well. Nothing new going on with her. So that is always a good thing.
Talked to Charlies Mom yesterday. She is also well, also good!

I feel like I have tons to say but Charlie just went upstairs so I should go too.
Ugh Sundays are so hard.
Hugs to all!

2008-09-20T22:01:00.000-07:00

Click and make the duck see the World to raise money for BC.

(It's free, don't worry!) http://www.munchkin.com/projectpink/email_a_duck.php?duck=4615

Definately getting there!

2008-09-19T13:17:00.000-07:00

I getting better slowly. I am able to bend over better today than yesterday. So I know I am making progress. I don't even feel the need for Tylenol today. So thats pretty good I think.

So I was thinking the other day. I love making guests feel welcomed (family or not). I try to think of everything. Cold water at their bedside, humidifier in the room, fresh soap, etc. But I think the best thing you can do for your guests is to put a plunger in the bathroom. Let me explain why. Back in the day toliets used to handle a lot. They rarely got plugged up and when they did, it was usually a pretty serious problem requiring a plumber. Today with our low flush systems and super ply TP, toliets are always getting plugged up. Especially if you are in a new home, this is especially troublesome. When guests come to stay, they do not know your system and therefore will likely plug it up. Put yourself in their shoes. Can you imagine having to ask your host/hostess for a plunger? Embarrassing! So I have made sure this house has a plunger in every room. However, I have to say when I was looking for nice decorative plungers there weren't any. So there is an idea for someone. I did find plunger covers, kind of like those teapot covers, I thought that was cute but the choices were terrible. What ever happened to plain colors? Not everyone likes the busy, dizzy, florals.

OK now on to those Promise Rings. There has been such a big deal about them in the media. I like the idea because it lets everyone that may interested in you, that they better be interested in you for more than sex. So on that I like. However, how queer. If my sons were to wear one, I would beg them not to wear them for fear of daily pummelings. I mean good for the Jonas Brothers that they are secure enough with themselves to wear them but it is only because they are not in positions of being beat up daily. For girls, I certainly think it is a different story. I think the ring will scare off a lot of creeps. OR oh my gosh, it will bring in even more because they are viewing it as a challenge. Holy crap. Never thought of that until right now. OK so whatever, keep your virginity until marriage. I think that is great. Why announce it to everyone though? Not sure I get that. Because then aren't you putting yourself in a weird position. Kind of like Brittany Spears did. She proclaimed she would wait and then she didn't. OK so first, the initial message via her lips was to wait. Then her second message was oh nevermind? Didn't she completely undo her whole platform for waiting? I have to wonder if Palins daughter was a Brittany fan HA!

Bank fees. I am annoyed by them. So here is my thing. There is a few for every little thing you do with your money. To hold it, a fee, to use it, a fee, to put it in, a fee, to take it out, a fee. So here is what I propose. How about we cut down the amount of branches out there? I mean they have to build these free-standing buildings with this insane security. Can you imagine the costs? So cut the branches back, give the people back their money, and you will have even more customers!

OK Josh is wanting "his" computer. So I need to go before he drives me crazy.
I will try to be back later.

OH OH OH it's FRIDAY! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Better today

2008-09-17T13:23:00.001-07:00

I am feeling a little better today. Yesterday was rough, what can I say? The drains always hurt for the first few days. It is nearly impossible to move. They will get sore again here in a few more days as the holes gets larger and the stitches that hold the tubes in pull a bit more. But I will deal with today and be happy that at least I can sit comfortably if I do not move.

I got the nicest card from Tracy McMillins Mom yesterday. Then the day before I got a card from Bruce and Julie, my sister's sister and brother in law. So let me just say this. I am amazed at the people who have come to wish me well and I am completely shocked at people whom I thought I knew so well that have disappeared off the face of the Earth. I mean Bern, always my savior, love her and she has been a rock for me even in the midst of her own tragedies lately. My Mom, Charlie's Mom, amazing. Lisa's in-laws, incredible! The whole McMillin family. Charlie's friends and people he knows online. But it is my very own friends that I have had for decades that just totally disappeared. Someone recently said to me that sometimes people just get overhwhelmed and do not know what to do or say. I agree. I am the same way. Like with Mrs. Burnett, I want to call but I know all I will do is cry. So maybe for them, their own demise or cancer fears will become all too real by talking to me. I think I am just surprised.

Still can't talk about Kiwi today. Miss her. Charlie and I heard her meow the night she died. OK. So it still hurts. Damn cat.

I go to the Dr. today. I am hoping to get one drain out. The right one would be great. Not much is going into it so there is a good chance it will be taken out. My appointment is at 3:45. Means traffic and moody kids on the way home. Ugh.

So yesterday I mentioned how I let Chelsea stay home to help me. I wrote that at like 1:30 while she and the boys were sleeping. Well, things certainly went downhill from that point on. I went to get her to help me get the boys up and she copped a big attitude and I did not see her the rest of the day. I was SO mad! I told her I didn't want to see her the rest of the day. So though she was a great help in the morning I was ready to kick her in the arse in the afternoon.
Charlie got home at 5 so that helped a little but I had a rough day and I just wanted to lay down. So I did and things just never got an better. I took a Xanax early and I still just had a bad evening. I was having trouble breathing and I hurt everywhere and I was shakey. Just a bad night.

Looks like my eyebrows are coming back in. My hair is growing too. So looks like my body is starting to recover from the chemo finally. Now I am getting ready to knock it all out with hormone supressants. Charlie picked them up last night and I am hesitating to take them. But I know I need to. So I am working on it. My body is just now recovering though and I feel like I am just going to completely throw it off again. Man.

OK Josh has the remote and I can hear Ann Curry talking then not talking then talking again LOL! So I need to go rescue the remote and Ann Curry.

OK got the right drain out!
Yea! SO happy to see. Dr. Rebecca and Lindsey today. We sat and chatted for about 45 minutes. It was so nice! Love love love them!
Charlie is getting his hair cut right now. Josh just went upstairs by himself. So I need to go.
Night everyone :)