Better today

I am feeling a little better today. Yesterday was rough, what can I say? The drains always hurt for the first few days. It is nearly impossible to move. They will get sore again here in a few more days as the holes gets larger and the stitches that hold the tubes in pull a bit more. But I will deal with today and be happy that at least I can sit comfortably if I do not move.

I got the nicest card from Tracy McMillins Mom yesterday. Then the day before I got a card from Bruce and Julie, my sister's sister and brother in law. So let me just say this. I am amazed at the people who have come to wish me well and I am completely shocked at people whom I thought I knew so well that have disappeared off the face of the Earth. I mean Bern, always my savior, love her and she has been a rock for me even in the midst of her own tragedies lately. My Mom, Charlie's Mom, amazing. Lisa's in-laws, incredible! The whole McMillin family. Charlie's friends and people he knows online. But it is my very own friends that I have had for decades that just totally disappeared. Someone recently said to me that sometimes people just get overhwhelmed and do not know what to do or say. I agree. I am the same way. Like with Mrs. Burnett, I want to call but I know all I will do is cry. So maybe for them, their own demise or cancer fears will become all too real by talking to me. I think I am just surprised.

Still can't talk about Kiwi today. Miss her. Charlie and I heard her meow the night she died. OK. So it still hurts. Damn cat.

I go to the Dr. today. I am hoping to get one drain out. The right one would be great. Not much is going into it so there is a good chance it will be taken out. My appointment is at 3:45. Means traffic and moody kids on the way home. Ugh.

So yesterday I mentioned how I let Chelsea stay home to help me. I wrote that at like 1:30 while she and the boys were sleeping. Well, things certainly went downhill from that point on. I went to get her to help me get the boys up and she copped a big attitude and I did not see her the rest of the day. I was SO mad! I told her I didn't want to see her the rest of the day. So though she was a great help in the morning I was ready to kick her in the arse in the afternoon.
Charlie got home at 5 so that helped a little but I had a rough day and I just wanted to lay down. So I did and things just never got an better. I took a Xanax early and I still just had a bad evening. I was having trouble breathing and I hurt everywhere and I was shakey. Just a bad night.

Looks like my eyebrows are coming back in. My hair is growing too. So looks like my body is starting to recover from the chemo finally. Now I am getting ready to knock it all out with hormone supressants. Charlie picked them up last night and I am hesitating to take them. But I know I need to. So I am working on it. My body is just now recovering though and I feel like I am just going to completely throw it off again. Man.

OK Josh has the remote and I can hear Ann Curry talking then not talking then talking again LOL! So I need to go rescue the remote and Ann Curry.

OK got the right drain out!
Yea! SO happy to see. Dr. Rebecca and Lindsey today. We sat and chatted for about 45 minutes. It was so nice! Love love love them!
Charlie is getting his hair cut right now. Josh just went upstairs by himself. So I need to go.
Night everyone :)