With each surgery I am forced to keep my kids away from my frontal areas, not cook, can't clean, can't do laundry, and I am so tired. I am starting to realize I have taken so much time "off". I kept Chelsea home from school today because I cannot do anything! I thought I was going to be fine and I am not. So last night talking to my MIL, she suggested I keep Chelsea home. I really wanted to but felt bad plus it is illegal. But she talked me into it and I am so glad she did. Chelsea has been a huge help today!
I figure by the time all is said and done, it will be a year of surgeries and recoveries. This was not a good time not to be near family, I must say! And though I have taken all this time "off" from doing my chores and taking care of children all I feel like I have done is work. You would think I would feel so rested but I don't. I feel worn out, helpless, and full of pain. My body is permanently changed and though some parts are better than they used to be, some are not so great and this is what I am left with. But I know, I am alive and I am lucky. I'm just tired of the pain I guess.
I still have one more large surgery to do. I will be in the hospital 3-4 days on a Fentanyl pump thank you very much!
OK I need to go sit somewhere else for a bit, I'm hurting. Be back later.
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