Too busy for words

I scheduled myself far too much this week. Everything is suffering as a result. I even double booked myself yesterday and forgot I had an appointment. Luckily it was tentative so she did not show up. She called and said "Iknow things were in the air, so if I don't hear from you, I will cancel". Which worked out perfect because I could not call her back at all. Her phone was blocked.

Yesterday I went to the Oncologist finally. OK can I just say, what a jerk. She was incredibly condesending, rude, short, sarcastic, and I will not be going back to her. I am going to look into other options. I will tell you one thing that will put it into perspective. I had spoken with my Genetic Counselor about my BRCA 2+ status. Frankly, I had no one else to ask. My Oncolosist. Dr. Karlin broke her foot and left for about 3 months. So all I had was this really dumb PA that I did not like and I wasn't about to ask her. When I called the PA (the only go-to person I had)saying that the Fareston was raising my blood pressure so high my eyesight was effected her advice was "keep taking it, it will go away". I thought that was pretty irresponsible. Yea, so no way was I going to ask her. So I called my Genetic Counselor and asked about my risk for Ovarian cancer. She said 40% and I said that is too high for me and I guess I have to have the hysterectomy. I was telling her that I really did not want to do it because of the shock to the body. She told me there was new study just out that said that even if your cancer is progesterone or estrogen positive that it is ok to have some estrogen put back in to ease your symptoms. Well, that made my day! I am progesterone AND estrogen positive in my cancer receptors. SO yesterday, I meet with jackass and I ask her if I can have estrogen and her response was "Are you joking? You are like a fire and that would be like pouring gasoline on a fire"
So let me explain why she is being rude to me. I called the Patient Advocate and told her I was not happy with my oncology care. So she called and made an appointment on my behlaf to actually see Dr. Karlin because I had all these questions that the PA did not feel comfortable answering. So I had a list of questions written down and she was short and rude and towards the end she kept saying "Anything else? Can I answer anymore questions? Do you need anything else from me?" I know it sounds nice as I am typing it but it was very snotty and I was not happy. Compared to Dr. Gray and Dr. Rebecca, Lindsey the PA and Kristen the other PA, I am shocked that Dr. Karlin is such a jerk.
So that was my experience yesterday.
OH and that spot on my backside is not cancer. YEA!

Day before yesterday I went to a Focus Group for Cancer Centers of America. They are running some ads and they wanted cancer patients' opinions. It was nice. I met one other DIEP reconstruction lady that went to Mayo just for the DIEP and then left because she didn't like the Dr.'s. And then these other 3 all went to this one place. One of them gave me a card and all 3 told me I have to go here. So I am thinking about calling today. I really do not want to go back to Dr. Karlin ever again.

Today Jake has a Dr. appt. He has eczema so bad and he is also pigeon toed (I was too as a child). So I want Dr. Suedekam to take a look and see what she thinks of everything.

Monday Josh's education evaluator is coming to take a listen to his speech and then we will be on the road to a plan.

This last Monday the speech therapist came over to evaulate Josh. He was charming as ever. Flirting, doing everything he was asked, hugged her a few times. You know Josh, he likes everyone like his Daddy does.

So now that both children sort of walk around and eat every morning I wake up and go downstairs, Babar has left a gift. I call them Snack Skeletons and I have at least one a day. Last night I was sitting in bed and looked into Babar kennel and there was an old Wendy's french fry holder. This morning, an empty bowl of cereal. It is always something. He is going to totally give himself bloat one day.
Whenever Babar eats something that gives him a tummy ache he lays upside down in his kennel. He is in his kennel because he puts himself in time out before we even tell him. So this is typically how you will find him after leaving a few Snack Skeletons around.

Tomorrow Charlie is taking my car because it is making funny noises. So I will be stuck in the house all day.

Saturday I am storking a Mom who just had her baby boy Russel this week. He is beautiful and I am so excited for her! So I am doing a dinner for her Saturday and Sunday.

Tonight I want to go grocery shopping after the boys are in bed. I just do know want to shop with the boys with us. It is too stressful!

I think I have talked about my neighbor Rae whom I adore! Well, her foster child Asley is moving out oh, well, she is already gone. She came over last night and let us know the judge signed the order for her to go to a group home this morning at 9am. It is a "transition" place for her. She will learn job and money skills for 6 months and then she is on her own. I am sad to see her go. She is a very nice girl. She has had a very rough life and I am sorry for her. When she was 10 her father died right in front of her from a heart attack. Her mom is in Missouri and either doesn't want her or can't have her. I am not sure which. So she is on her own, poor thing. We gave her a card and a $50 gift card to use for emergencies if she ever has any. We gave her all our information if ever she is in trouble. I really do hope the best for her. When I went to Rae's last night it was clear she had been crying. It must be very hard for her to part with these children that you form bonds with. I always thought I could do it but even the small attachment I grew to Ashley breaks my heart. She is a human being too and though she is rough around the edges, she has a heart of gold. I myself am very saddened to see her go. I cannot imagine what Rae is going though. We hope to hear from Ashley so that we know she is ok.

Rae came over about a week ago asking for a favor. I am always willing to do about anything for anyone, so I was excited at the prospect. She asked if I could take one of her cats. Oh man. That's a tough one. Last night I had to tell her I couldn't. We just are not over Kiwi yet. I still miss her in a weird way. I still have not picked up her bed in my closet. I am just not ready for a cat yet. I feel bad because this cat is being chased by the bloodhound puppy and the other cats are being mean to her. It is taking every ounce of my being not to go and get her. I really hope they find a nice home for her. She is totally cute! So hey, ya, if you are reading this and want a cat....she is a cutie pie! She's a tabby with white paws, short haired, totally potty trained and very cute.

I've been playing Diner Dash Flo on the Go lately. I am addicted! So I got stuck on this one level. Level 6 actually. So I went onto the boards to see what I was doing wrong and people were posting that they were stuck on like Level 36! Well, I was way too emabrrassed to post that I was stuck on Level 6. Oh my gosh! So I shut the site down and I have been determined to try to get higher in the game before embarrassing myself on the boards. HA!

Touch free bathrooms. I love them. But have you noticed that some bathrooms are only partially touch-free? So for instance the toliet auto flushes but the handles on the sink you have to turn on. Or the toliet and the water are automatic but then you have to push the thing down for a towel. So if you only have a partially touch-free bathroom what is the purpose? Do the germs simply fall off between the toliet stall and the sink? What about the doors. Ick! I always opened them with a paper towel. It makes so sense to me to spend the money and have a totally touch free bathroom and then you have to go and open the door. You know there are people that don't wash their hands and then they go and open the door. That has to be THE dirtest place in the bathroom and yet so very rarely are there no doors or automatic doors.
At the Mayo they have hand sanitizer right outside the door which is so great. So I wash, open the door with a paper towel, then I sanitize too.

Last night Charlie and I passed by the Jehovah's Witness ..is it called a temple? I don't know. The Jehovah's Witness place (now on JW). So here is what I don't get. What do they believe? Why are they there all day long all weekend long and then some evenings too? I know they recruit like crazy and the women can't wear pants. That is ALL I know. I have always prided myself on having a little knowledge on a lot of things. Sadly I do not have a lot of knowledge on a few things. But JW I know so little. It bothers me. I guess I could do some research. Then I will just add to my little knowledge on another thing. Someday I need to hunker down and get really well-educated on one particular thing. I thought it was going to be Law School but well, that isn't going to happen. So I need to find something else. Maybe penguins. Ha! Who knows.

Bern came home! Yea! So she called me and made me feel better. I feel that she and I are similar and she did not seem to have any problems post surgery. So I am keeping her as my goal. She seems to have gotten right through everything with no problems. I hope I can be as lucky. She said she had a good time in Coventry (her home in England). She actually got a direct flight from Las Vegas to Gatwick. I thought that was impressive! It was a 10 hour flight though. I am so envious. I wish I could get on a plane for 2 hours without freaking out. I am currently working on that. I am going to a Psychiatrist to see if we can work on my claustrophobia issues. I am excited because I want to go to Hawaii with the boys when they are older. Or go see my sister or Charlie's family. There are so many things I want to do but can't. So maybe this Psychiatrist can help me overcome my fear of being trapped. It's so dumb and I hate it.